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Posted By A Son-Rise Message Board Participant on December 20, 1999 at 10:02:28:
: How do you all handle your own feelings when your children are "isming" in public and people are noticing? My son does alot of flapping, almost all the time unless he's being held, or engaged in something productive (eg. eating). He enjoys going out with us to the store or out to eat (which I'm glad for), but of course people do look at him due to the flapping. I generally ignore the looking (and I understand it...I'd look too), but it's hard not to be aware of it...part of me wishes people wouldn't look...and part of me wishes he wouldn't flap...then of course I feel quilty for wishing he wouldn't flap and cause people to look!!! : How do some of you handle these feelings??? : Thanks for any thoughts!
Two things that really help me are: 1. Really truly believing that people are doing the best they can at all times. If they understood enough to not look they wouldn't. 2. Staying really present with what I am doing.
If I am at a restaurant to enjoy a meal with my family...that's all there is for me. You can become really good at blocking out the world with practice. If what's going on around you isn't useful to you don't pay any attention to it. Choose not to.
Maybe what it all boils down to is not judging the isms as good or bad. They just are what they are. A sneeze is just a sneeze and flapping hands is just flapping hands. When we look at someone who has sneezed we aren't judging their action, so maybe we can give the rest of the world the benifit of the doubt and just think...ok, people are looking, but don't assume you know why.
One last thought is- having a strong intention to do all of this. Not to go out and say ok let's see how I do today with people watching my child ism, but to DECIDE that it really will be ok that they look.
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