Re: Thanks for the input on hostile professor

Posted By A Son-Rise Message Board Participant on October 16, 1999 at 10:44:18:

In Reply to: Thanks for the input on hostile professor posted byGaylen on October 15, 1999 at 00:42:38:

Dear Gaylen -

I've been following the correspondence about your interaction with this professor
with interest, and I agree that you have approached the letter to him in a mostly
very positive way. However, as a business writer by profession,
I would question your use of the following phrase: << Although I was surprised
and confused by the hostile manner in which you chose to share your beliefs >>

"Hostile" comes off as a pretty accusatory word - especially here in the first
paragraph - and it may be a good way to ensure that the reader doesn't read
the rest of the letter, at least, not with an open mind. You might consider
saying, "Although I was surprised and confused by the manner in which you chose
to share your beliefs" and leave it up to him to remember exactly what that manner
was, from his own viewpoint. That wording would be more supportive of the premise
that he's doing the best he knows how to do, and might make it more likely
that he'll at least read the rest of the letter without the iron gates of defensiveness
slamming down when he sees the word "hostile."

Just a suggestion. Good luck finding new and energetic volunteers!

Julie Lancaster

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Subject: Re: Re: Thanks for the input on hostile professor

Comments:: Dear Gaylen - : I've been following the correspondence about your interaction with this professor : with interest, and I agree that you have approached the letter to him in a mostly : very positive way. However, as a business writer by profession, : I would question your use of the following phrase: << Although I was surprised : and confused by the hostile manner in which you chose to share your beliefs >> : "Hostile" comes off as a pretty accusatory word - especially here in the first : paragraph - and it may be a good way to ensure that the reader doesn't read : the rest of the letter, at least, not with an open mind. You might consider : saying, "Although I was surprised and confused by the manner in which you chose : to share your beliefs" and leave it up to him to remember exactly what that manner : was, from his own viewpoint. That wording would be more supportive of the premise : that he's doing the best he knows how to do, and might make it more likely : that he'll at least read the rest of the letter without the iron gates of defensiveness : slamming down when he sees the word "hostile." : Just a suggestion. Good luck finding new and energetic volunteers! : Julie Lancaster