thoughts about locking the door

Posted By A Son-Rise Message Board Participant on October 07, 1999 at 09:48:36:

I wanted to share some additional thoughts about the Son-Rise Program's recommendation for locking the playroom door.

First and foremost, as has been stated earlier, you do not have to lock your playroom door to do the Son-Rise Program with your child. The main reason we recommend it is because: we want to give the child control. The room is set up so that the child has the most control possible. The child can play with any object in the playroom, and can do any activity the child wants to do (unless there is a safety issue, of course).

The door stays locked because, once you open that door, you will have to say "No" to your child in most (if not all) the other rooms of your house. Basically, the door is the one thing you keep closed, and then your child's overall experience with the playroom is: '99.9% of the time I can do what I want in here'. Anyone who has a special child or works with special children knows that this is simply not the case in almost any other environment (including restaurants, other rooms in the house, the playground, etc.). When you are forced to be the "policeman" (or policewoman), you do not make interacting with people more attractive to your child. In fact, you make it less attractive. That would not help your child to learn and grow.

Because we want the child to have a sense of control, we keep the door closed. As soon as we open the door, then we have to stop the child from doing so many things (playing with the hot water, hitting his sister, breaking the new vase, etc.). In the playroom, we never have to stop the child from doing anything (again, unless if the child's safety is threatened.)

My personal experience, which includes having worked with hundreds of different children for thousands and thousands of playroom hours, is that children adapt very quickly to the new situation, as long as the people around the child believe in the idea of the door being locked. If you do not have conviction, then oftentimes the child can sense this and will spend more time trying to get out. Think about every time you take your child in the car. Your child opening the door as you drive simply isn't an option. And, most children learn this quickly and adapt. We see the same thing with the playroom door.

I hope this is helpful!

Sincerely,

Jonathan

Jonathan Levy
Certified Son-Rise Program Family Trainer

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Follow Ups

• Re: thoughts about locking the door Carol Duffy 00:27:23 10/10/99 (0)

Name:
Subject: Re: thoughts about locking the door

Comments:: I wanted to share some additional thoughts about the Son-Rise Program's recommendation for locking the playroom door. : First and foremost, as has been stated earlier, you do not have to lock your playroom door to do the Son-Rise Program with your child. The main reason we recommend it is because: we want to give the child control. The room is set up so that the child has the most control possible. The child can play with any object in the playroom, and can do any activity the child wants to do (unless there is a safety issue, of course). : The door stays locked because, once you open that door, you will have to say "No" to your child in most (if not all) the other rooms of your house. Basically, the door is the one thing you keep closed, and then your child's overall experience with the playroom is: '99.9% of the time I can do what I want in here'. Anyone who has a special child or works with special children knows that this is simply not the case in almost any other environment (including restaurants, other rooms in the house, the playground, etc.). When you are forced to be the "policeman" (or policewoman), you do not make interacting with people more attractive to your child. In fact, you make it less attractive. That would not help your child to learn and grow. : Because we want the child to have a sense of control, we keep the door closed. As soon as we open the door, then we have to stop the child from doing so many things (playing with the hot water, hitting his sister, breaking the new vase, etc.). In the playroom, we never have to stop the child from doing anything (again, unless if the child's safety is threatened.) : My personal experience, which includes having worked with hundreds of different children for thousands and thousands of playroom hours, is that children adapt very quickly to the new situation, as long as the people around the child believe in the idea of the door being locked. If you do not have conviction, then oftentimes the child can sense this and will spend more time trying to get out. Think about every time you take your child in the car. Your child opening the door as you drive simply isn't an option. And, most children learn this quickly and adapt. We see the same thing with the playroom door. : I hope this is helpful! : Sincerely, : Jonathan : Jonathan Levy : Certified Son-Rise Program Family Trainer