Posted By A Son-Rise Message Board Participant on September 30, 1999 at 12:21:32:
In Reply to: Re: Lock
posted byJennifer on September 30, 1999 at 00:14:55:
We have been doing a Son Rise Program for my eight year old son Nick for two years. I, too, initially could not understand the need for a locked room, and we tried to do the Son Rise program with the door unlocked. When he would leave the room, we would follow Nick around the house and outside in the yard, taking the "playroom bubble" wherever we went. Nick made a lot of progress during this time, since we were with him and could request eye contact and play in ways that he was motivated. But sometimes it was very easy for him to just run away and avoid us, particularly when we had a volunteer come over to play. At these times nothing was happening that would help Nick grow.
We finally decided the best thing would be to lock the door. Nick was very clever in finding different ways to get out of the room-during potty breaks and climbing out the window, which was on the first floor. It took some time for him to get used to the locked door. Once he saw how much fun we could have in the playroom, he started to come back to the playroom voluntarily after his potty breaks, and stopped trying to go out the window. Now, most of us who work with Nick do not lock the door, and the ones who do are doing out of habit. This morning, like many mornings, Nick was in the room waiting for me to come in.
I don't think initially any person likes the idea of being confined to a space and not being able to go wherever they want. But sometimes the benefit of being confined outwieghs the desire to wander away-in a car, on a boat, at a movie, in a restaraunt, etc. I agree with everyone else who says that once you decide that the playroom is the best place for your child to grow, and you greet requests to leave from a comfortable place, the playroom will become a very compelling place to be.
One of the best benefits of being in the playroom has been that we send notes out under the door to request things that are not in the playroom. Working like this to get things that Nick is motivated to get is a hallmark of the Son Rise Program. The payoff is this is how Nick learned to read and practices his writing! He also has had to organize his thoughts to say what the note should say.
From what I have heard about other programs, they all require that the child needs to be present with you. I have heard that in ABA many of the children need to be restrained, and the example of the classroom is also on point. The great thing about the Son Rise Program is the respect and love that we show towards Nick and his interests. By following his interests he is best able to grow and learn. Looking at your own experiences, isn't it a lot more fun to learn when you are motivated?
I hope this helps explain why we locked our door. I would do it again in a heartbeat, since so much growth has happened in the magic of the playroom.
Doug
Son-Rise
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