Re: Re: Lock

Posted ByStill Worried on September 30, 1999 at 12:20:24:

In Reply to: Re: Lock posted byKelly on September 29, 1999 at 18:31:07:

:If you'll read "Son-Rise, the Miracle Continues", you'll see the reasons why the Kaufmans chose to work with their son in "a special room".

I understand the reasons for creating a special distraction-free room, I just don't see how it can be beneficial to force it on a child.

: This has challenged him to use words in a very practical way - to get what he wants! He's learned how to say "OUT!" in a million different ways (e.g., "Please open the door", "I want to get out of the Son-Rise room and go play outside", "I want to go to my bedroom and hang up a picture", etc.)

But doesn't it make it harder for him to learn that words can get him things if all his million different ways of saying "out" don't get him what he wants (i.e. to get out of the room)?

: One of the beautiful things about the room is that it is a place where he knows no one will ever say "NO!" to him.

A lock could be seen as saying a big, non-verbal NO.

: It is a predictable place over which he has more control than anything else in his life. At the same time, I have control in there. He is not fed any food in there that I don't want him to have, he has constant one-on-one respectful and consistent companionship, no one ever works against him, everybody loves him to death. To me, this sounds like a dream place for a kid to be! What kid wouldn't want to be in a place like that?

But to me, a kid hanging onto the doorknob and and crying sounds like he doesn't want to be in a place like that. Maybe it's wonderful at other times, but *right now* it's not, for whatever reason, and he wants to get out.

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Subject: Re: Re: Re: Lock

Comments:: :If you'll read "Son-Rise, the Miracle Continues", you'll see the reasons why the Kaufmans chose to work with their son in "a special room". : I understand the reasons for creating a special distraction-free room, I just don't see how it can be beneficial to force it on a child. : : This has challenged him to use words in a very practical way - to get what he wants! He's learned how to say "OUT!" in a million different ways (e.g., "Please open the door", "I want to get out of the Son-Rise room and go play outside", "I want to go to my bedroom and hang up a picture", etc.) : But doesn't it make it harder for him to learn that words can get him things if all his million different ways of saying "out" don't get him what he wants (i.e. to get out of the room)? : : One of the beautiful things about the room is that it is a place where he knows no one will ever say "NO!" to him. : A lock could be seen as saying a big, non-verbal NO. : : It is a predictable place over which he has more control than anything else in his life. At the same time, I have control in there. He is not fed any food in there that I don't want him to have, he has constant one-on-one respectful and consistent companionship, no one ever works against him, everybody loves him to death. To me, this sounds like a dream place for a kid to be! What kid wouldn't want to be in a place like that? : But to me, a kid hanging onto the doorknob and and crying sounds like he doesn't want to be in a place like that. Maybe it's wonderful at other times, but *right now* it's not, for whatever reason, and he wants to get out.