Re: Lock

Posted By A Son-Rise Message Board Participant on September 29, 1999 at 22:20:03:

In Reply to: Lock posted byWorried on September 29, 1999 at 11:38:00:

I loved Kim's description of the locks keeping the fun and togetherness in, not for imprisoning a child. IF a Son-Rise program is done right, the child is surrounded by acceptance and comfort in the room, has control over mostly everything as well as lots of intense excitement and challenge. Sometimes this can be overwhelming to a child and his first instinct is to escape. We all like to take the easy way out at times. A great example of why a locked door can help open a child's doors to our world was presented to me a few weeks ago when I worked with Hilda's sweet boy, Patrick. He was so motivated and excited by a towel ride I was giving him. He was trying to say "drive" really hard but his mouth just wouldn't cooperate. Of course, every time he got close, I'd reward him but it was so difficult for him. When it would get a bit too hard for him, he'd lead me to the door. When I explained that the door was still locked which meant we could keep playing for awhile longer, he'd wander off to think a bit and then come back strongly to the towel ride and get closer and closer to the word I was requesting. If the door had not been locked, he probably would have gone out the first time and we would have missed over an hour of really motivated effort, some great language and amazing interaction. Instead, he found a more temporary way of getting himself re-comfortable and ready to move forward.

We did lock that door for two years in Curtis' program, now it stays unlocked because there is rarely a moment he wants out and when he does it's always to get something and he comes right back. Through the years we did go through some short-lived periods of crying at the door. Sometimes it was when things had become stale, sometimes it was right before a big leap ahead and sometimes it was just because he was wanting to exert his control on the only thing he did not have control of. We did find that the periods lasted longer and were more intense with volunteers who were uncomfortable with this or if they let had him out when he fussed in the past. When a child cries continously at the door it is a good time to look at everyone's attitude, comfort level, energy, excitement, make sure they're presenting at the appropriate level, etc. But sometimes it could indicate that the child is really stretching themselves and it's getting a bit scary for them.
Gaylen

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Subject: Re: Re: Lock

Comments:: I loved Kim's description of the locks keeping the fun and togetherness in, not for imprisoning a child. IF a Son-Rise program is done right, the child is surrounded by acceptance and comfort in the room, has control over mostly everything as well as lots of intense excitement and challenge. Sometimes this can be overwhelming to a child and his first instinct is to escape. We all like to take the easy way out at times. A great example of why a locked door can help open a child's doors to our world was presented to me a few weeks ago when I worked with Hilda's sweet boy, Patrick. He was so motivated and excited by a towel ride I was giving him. He was trying to say "drive" really hard but his mouth just wouldn't cooperate. Of course, every time he got close, I'd reward him but it was so difficult for him. When it would get a bit too hard for him, he'd lead me to the door. When I explained that the door was still locked which meant we could keep playing for awhile longer, he'd wander off to think a bit and then come back strongly to the towel ride and get closer and closer to the word I was requesting. If the door had not been locked, he probably would have gone out the first time and we would have missed over an hour of really motivated effort, some great language and amazing interaction. Instead, he found a more temporary way of getting himself re-comfortable and ready to move forward. : We did lock that door for two years in Curtis' program, now it stays unlocked because there is rarely a moment he wants out and when he does it's always to get something and he comes right back. Through the years we did go through some short-lived periods of crying at the door. Sometimes it was when things had become stale, sometimes it was right before a big leap ahead and sometimes it was just because he was wanting to exert his control on the only thing he did not have control of. We did find that the periods lasted longer and were more intense with volunteers who were uncomfortable with this or if they let had him out when he fussed in the past. When a child cries continously at the door it is a good time to look at everyone's attitude, comfort level, energy, excitement, make sure they're presenting at the appropriate level, etc. But sometimes it could indicate that the child is really stretching themselves and it's getting a bit scary for them. : Gaylen