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We have had similar situations where Nick has done things that could really hurt himself physically. The first thing we always did was to remove him from the situation, or take away whatever it is that is going to hurt him. It is SO impartant to do that in a very confortable way with no visible appearance of alarm. The child's perception of the power of the action, and therefore the reason to continue the action, is influenced by what we do at that moment.
At the moment that all of this is happening, it is not possible to do a full self dialogue about feelings of discomfort. When I feel the disomfort welling up inside myself at these times, I just ask myself this quickie dialogue question "What purpose does this discomfort serve". I can drop the discmofort at the moment, and react from a happy place, which inevitably is a much better place to be coming from. If the discomfort continues in my mind, then a full dialogue is GREAT!
Since you said Reyn is verbal, is it possible to tell him that he has a choice how he feels when he gets angry? That he can decide to be happy or angry, and that he is SO ppowerful that way? I started to tell Nick this when it is quite possible that he was incapable of understanding exactly what it meant. But I believe that the more I say it when Nick gets angry, the more he will be able to understand it. Now he does understand that, and it frequently helps him move past his anger (if that is what he chooses). The other thing to remember is that I am teaching him this very principle by how I react when Nick is going for one of these big button pushes fueled by anger. I teach what I do.
Another comforting thought is that you have seen so many wonderful changes in Reyn. Gerd Winkler told us that when we have a nice interactive plyroom session with Nick it is really great. But when Nick gets into one of his angry moods, that is when the real learning begins! If you can find a way to become comfortable with these moments you are a long way along the road to helping Reyn through them. And in the process of becoming comfortable with those angry sessions with Nick, I feel I have become better able to handle them outside the room. These are all opportunities for growth for everyone! Think how wonderful life may be for Reyn if he can learn this wonderful option concept.
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