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Posted By Gaylen on October 17, 2000 at 01:54:33:
Hi all,
I just wanted to share a funny thing that happen last weekend while I attended Raun's talk on Son-Rise down here in Texas. Towards the end of the day, I was sitting next to my son's former occupational therapist. She has not seen Curtis since we started our intensive home program with him just over four years ago but we've seen each other off and on at various conferences. After talking about how our responses and attitudes about our children greatly impact what we get back, Raun asked the group to list one thing we could look at and respond to differently that could turn around something we perceived as a difficulty or "behavior problem" with our child. Thinking of my recent irratation with Curty's constant questioning of everything and his obsession with asking the same question over and over again like a broken record, I promptly wrote down "obsessive questioning." After thinking about the irony of sitting next to someone who helped us in the very early, non-verbal days, and writing down "questioning" as a behavior issue, I felt a little silly. I shared this with her and she agreed saying something like "last I saw him, you'd have given anything if he'd just talk and now you want him to stop questioning things?"
Well, that stroll down memory lane changed my thinking about that and I decided to respond differently and instead appreciate his ability to question, even if it was a bit repetitive. What a change that simple choice made. This week, he's gone into his repetitive questioning mode several times, but instead of cutting him off or responding tensly, I've mostly responded respectfully with an internal gratefulness of the amazing strides he's taken to get this far. For the most part, I've found that when I stay comfortable, his repetitive questions wane and we are able to steer it into great conversations most of the time.
I say this with great appreciation to Raun for his wonderful presentation in Houston and look forward to the Houston Start-Up in January :). Gaylen
PS My little guy turns 9 tomorrow. He requested a microscope for his birthday and even picked it out himself. He and his father have been going all over gathering specimens for slides and having a ball looking at various things. Think we may have a budding scientist on our hands :).
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