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Posted By A Son-Rise Message Board Participant on September 06, 1999 at 10:29:09:
How funny - I was practically in your same boat 2 years ago!! Ben (then 3) was diagnosed late in Sept., so we just missed the Start-Up and went in December. We started our program in January, running a 4 hour/day schedule for the first month, 2 hours each for my husband and I. How wonderful that you have this Bulletin Board for information and can get started right away!! I will help you as much as I can, as I'm sure everyone else will, too.
I would say one of the most important concepts to know would be that the relationship is more important than any task that might be performed in the playroom. We used as few toys as possible in the beginning, concentrating instead on just getting some eye contact and making ourselves the most exciting toy in the room. We have tried to use toys as a way to keep ourselves creative and new and interesting rather than a way to focus Ben's attention so that we could "teach" him something. We continue to drag out our interactions when playing with toys, playing dumb so that, for example, cutting out a paper doll takes "a long time" because we're so busy passing it back and forth and taking turns and talking about kicking its legs, etc.
Our room had a little toddler bed (which we destroyed within 6 months as we joined him on it jumping and creating earthquakes), a table and 2 chairs and a trampoline. We had one shelf with a light, baby monitor, kleenex, cloth diaper, instant hand sanitizer, a bag for garbage, paper and markers, scissors, books, puppets and toys. Most of the time we spent either following him from one corner of the room to another spinning rotors on toy helicopters saying "dig, dig, dig" or telling him how wonderful we thought being with him in the playroom was even if he was going to hold onto the doorknob and scream his head off for hours on end. We had a 2'x2' one-way mirror installed in a corner of the room.
Have you seen the BBC video? I always get anyone interested in working with Ben to view this before going in the room. Email me your street address and I will send you some other tapes of people working with Ben. I will be honored if you will send tapes to me as well and will comment back to you to the best of my ability.
Try to be as loving and thankful to your helpers as you can. They are beautiful just to be involved in this field and choosing to spend any time with Adam. Encourage them to think about that incredible part inside themselves that made them want to do this in the first place, and to bring that in with them with gusto! Have them imagine if what Adam does is the thing that they liked most to do in life, and how much better it would be to have a friend who liked doing that, too, rather than trying to change him or distract him or make him stop. Celebrate every moment that they choose love and being present rather than distaste and worry - you'll be surprised what happens!
Congratulations John - I'll try my best to contain my excitement. :-) Love and Joy to you - K.
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