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Posted By A Son-Rise Message Board Participant on September 01, 1999 at 05:22:23:
: I have been reading your posts with feelings of deja vu. Before I went to the Start Up Program my thoughts were consumed by what the future held for my son. He was doing things that I had read hardened crimnals did when they were kids. I also was quite concerned that my son could always be dependent upon us, and never develop the skills necessary to be independent. These fears can be overwhelming and exhausting. I had also heard that the people at Lovaas would not work with children older than four, and my son was six at the time. I was also reading that if kids don't learn to talk at certain ages they will never talk normally. I felt like I had blown it big time, and was very upset at the developmental pediatrician that diagnosed my son at age three for not telling me about the approaches I should have taken.
: What I learned at the Start Up Program that was so powerful and effective in how I worked with my son is that those concerns take you out of the present moment. Before, I was looking at my son and letting those concerns be what I saw. I was using fear as a motivator. Once I realized this and how ineffective it made me in working with my son, I felt a huge weight lifted from me. For the first time since the diagnosis I felt truly happy that I had my son! I was actually bursting with ideas about how to help my son, and wrote down about fifty of them on my way home from the Start Up on the airplane!
: John, I don't think any of us can convince you to go to the Start Up by just using this message board. The woman who told me to go, who has a son your child's age that she does the Son Rise Program with, told me to just go. I had read the Son Rise book, and the approach felt right to me. I called and asked her lots of questions, which she answered for me. But she could tell I was still tentative. She said to just go, because no amount of explaining would begin to touch the learning that goes on at the Start Up. Was she right!
: I can tell from your desire to help your son that you will be a tremendous leader of a Son Rise Program. Go for the gold, John. We are working with the school system, but there are too many conflicts to make that our only program.
: At the Start Up I wrote a list of ten things I would like my son to be doing. These were real dream items, things that I would never have thought possible. He is now doing all of them, and he actually did most of them within six months of starting the program.
: Love to you and you family,
: Doug Lipinski
hi doug :) that was a great follow-up! glad to hear from you - havent heard from you in awhile...how are things?
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