Re: Joshua

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Posted By ---> A Son-Rise Message Board Participant on August 29, 1999 at 18:58:02:

In Reply to: Joshua posted byJennifer on August 29, 1999 at 00:52:22:

Hi Jen!

I believe you typed something that holds your answer: "it made the volunteers feel as if Joshua didn't like them". How can your little beauty make the volunteers feel he doesn't like them???

I try to convince my people to go in there with nothing but the best that they have to offer, and an attitude to prove it. So if they're confident that they are the funnest people to be with, and Ben is holding onto the door knob screaming, then that is their cue to acknowledge Ben's desire, but also the time to focus on why being in the playroom is so much fun.

I love to use analogies to their life to help explain myself. I ask them to think of a time when they were very upset and crying. Then I describe a person who comes over to them, not really knowing what to do and just letting themselves get down as well. Then I describe a person who comes over and says something like "Oh, I see you're crying about ______. I can certainly understand why that would be upsetting. But seeing you cry doesn't affect one bit how crazy I am about you and being with you. I could cry here with you or we could go do something fun." Which person would they rather be with at that moment?

Gerd told us a wonderful story about a very tactile-defensive toddler that went to the Institute for an Intensive during his training. During a session, Gerd actually got this child (who was impossible to cuddle or get a diaper on)to actually lay in his arms, and Gerd thought "Oh, how wonderful, what a fantastic moment...". Guess what his feedback was coming out of this session? "Okay - so what are you going to do with that?"

You have been an incredibly dedicated gem of a mother with all your efforts with Josh - I am cheering for you every minute! You've got him wanting you and "asking for you incessantly". What are you going to do with that? How about if your volunteers join him in his chant for mommy, and throw in some chants for the other wonderful people you'll have involved in your program? I can see it now, and I'm smiling with delight.

Have fun Jen - good luck finding some other gems for Josh - love you - K.

Follow Ups

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Comments:: Hi Jen! : I believe you typed something that holds your answer: "it made the volunteers feel as if Joshua didn't like them". How can your little beauty make the volunteers feel he doesn't like them??? : I try to convince my people to go in there with nothing but the best that they have to offer, and an attitude to prove it. So if they're confident that they are the funnest people to be with, and Ben is holding onto the door knob screaming, then that is their cue to acknowledge Ben's desire, but also the time to focus on why being in the playroom is so much fun. : I love to use analogies to their life to help explain myself. I ask them to think of a time when they were very upset and crying. Then I describe a person who comes over to them, not really knowing what to do and just letting themselves get down as well. Then I describe a person who comes over and says something like "Oh, I see you're crying about ______. I can certainly understand why that would be upsetting. But seeing you cry doesn't affect one bit how crazy I am about you and being with you. I could cry here with you or we could go do something fun." Which person would they rather be with at that moment? : Gerd told us a wonderful story about a very tactile-defensive toddler that went to the Institute for an Intensive during his training. During a session, Gerd actually got this child (who was impossible to cuddle or get a diaper on)to actually lay in his arms, and Gerd thought "Oh, how wonderful, what a fantastic moment...". Guess what his feedback was coming out of this session? "Okay - so what are you going to do with that?" : You have been an incredibly dedicated gem of a mother with all your efforts with Josh - I am cheering for you every minute! You've got him wanting you and "asking for you incessantly". What are you going to do with that? How about if your volunteers join him in his chant for mommy, and throw in some chants for the other wonderful people you'll have involved in your program? I can see it now, and I'm smiling with delight. : Have fun Jen - good luck finding some other gems for Josh - love you - K.