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Posted By A Son-Rise Message Board Participant on February 21, 2000 at 14:21:05:
I love the question! This came up for me too, just after Xmas.
I know you said that being honest would be a little brutal, but if your trying to do this programme & be authentic with yourself, it's the only way to do it. Like you said, you couldn't say to someone that it looks like they don't love being in the room, as your only assuming that. Everyone is different & shows there emotions/affections differently. However, you could still tell this person that right now, you feel they are not suitable for your sons programme.
Whenever I give feedback, I keep all my notes in a book/notepad, & I write down thigs we've discussed & what that person is going to bring into the room with them their next session. This then gives me a record of when we talked things through & if the same issues are coming up time & time again, then I can say to that person, look, I know you've tried & we've talked this through on these dates, I really think it's time we called it a day. Another alternative, that I know some of the S-R facilitators have experienced, is that they are asked to take a two week break from the programme. To dialogue, talk, think through if they really want to be on the programme & be real specific about what you want from that person. One last 'gem'! Remember that this programme is for the benefit of your son - he comes first. If someone on your team isn't right for your son's programme, then making the changes will only benefit/enhance your programme. Keep thinking of your son - even look at his picture before telling your volunteers that them being on the programme is no longer working out. Have Fun!!!!!!!!!!! Once you've done this it will be such a learning for you - and besides, you probably ask your son to do things he finds a challenge & awkward evey day - so why not you!!!!! Love Kim x