On one of Bear's tapes I listened to recently, he tells
a story of when Tao was being teased by kids at school and how the various
children reacted to it. It's a great story of how you can choose to see
teasing as a reflection on you or as a reflection on the person doing
the teasing. When they teased him the next time he thought "Oh, they're
talking about themselves again" While you didn't mention that your son
was being teased, this came to my mind as a nice example of how talking
with your child in an open way, dialouging them and inspiring them to
choose happiness can make a big difference in their lives.
How conversational is your child? Would he be able to discuss
his feelings with you and dialogue on why he feels that way? Is he frustrated/unhappy
with school, with being different, with teasing, or what? If you could
get a clear picture of where his unhappiness specifically lies, then it
would be easier to help him find ways to address it.
If he's frustrated by the other kids' reactions, you can
help him choose a different way to look at it. If he's frustrated with
the way he's being taught, you could look at ways to faciliate better
learning. If he is frustrated with being different, you could help him
find ways to get comfortable with his differences while celebrating his
strengths and working to overcome his challenges.
As Curty gets more social and cares about "fitting in"
more, we've seen his noticing of his differences or other kids pointing
them out to be very motivating for him. Recently, he wanted to learn to
play baseball and a friend was teaching him but he was having trouble
swinging the bat. The friend made the comment "he's too weak for that
bat." Curty threw down the bat and ran to do some of the arm strengthening
activities we do. We thought we'd never get him to stop -- he did them
obsessively for weeks. He can now use that bat easily :). We cheered him
on because he was motivated to build his strength and found a way to do
so. We've seen this reaction to several comments that were less respectful
that his cousins have made (they tend to like to cut down other people
and can be ugly at times). Interestingly, whenever they point out what
he can't do in a uppity way, he'll really go all out to work on that skill.
We've laughed about bringing them over when we're having trouble motivating
him to do something :).
Gaylen
Back to top
