Autism Treatment Center of America Forum

[Magda]

Hi,
I live in UK and I am new to this forum, and just discovered Autism Treatment Centre of America when I was looking for help for my son, and hoping to find some answers about his behaviour .He is 6.5 years old most cheerful chap you could imagine and be proud to meet in your live. He has a statement of SEN at school and is on Action Plus receiving 25hours of Learning Assistant support per week. Although school is trying their best to help him coexists between his peers, school have no money, resources, knowledge to actually understand what my “child is about”. Oscar has got diagnosis of “Global Developmental Delay” (which stands on his statement), but that does not put a pin on his needs and understanding his world. I have an opinion of Educational Psychologist, that Oscar is not autistic child, but presents with SPD, dyspraxia, attention deficit, fine and gross motor skills, what goes with it messy eater, handwriting difficulties, unable to do his buttons, tie his shoes etc. Which I think, all falls under Autistic Spectrum.
Recently (although it was always an issue) my boy started to present with very visible Sensory Difficulties. He is stimulating by touching himself or pressing a book or a toy between his legs in a crotch, which is seen as inappropriate at school. I was told by school EP to distract him or tell him that he cannot do this because it is wrong. Looking to try to solve this issue I came across your website and Son Rise program. I am very interested in using it in our clinic to help children (as I think it is wonderful way), and as well to ask are there any technics to be used for handling “challenging behaviour” of my boy I could pass on to school, as I am worried if he will hear so many times that he is doing something wrong he will stop trying to do other things.
Thank you so much for reading and hope to hear from someone who can help.
Best wishes and regards,
Magda

[KimKorpady]

Dear Magda,
Welcome to our Message Board! We are so excited that you found us! The information you shared about your son is wonderfully detailed! Oscar sounds so sweet!
First of all, I really want to congratulate you for picking up on all of the challenges he is having, you are so in tune with your son! This ability to notice where he is having difficulty will really really help you help him!
To address the challenge of self stimulation which you bring up in your question, I would first like to say that in The Son-Rise Program we firmly believe that our children at all times are doing their particular behaviors for very great reasons- often as a way to best take care of themselves… Our children are so smart, and so whether they are stimming, self stimulating, button pushing, head banging, making various sounds, etc. they are doing all of this with purpose. The behaviors which we may not quite understand (yet) actually help our children cope with the unpredictable world around them, or these behaviors help their bodies create an equilibrium with all the various sensory sensitivities they experience daily.
Now knowing this, when Oscar is self stimulating and rubbing particular objects between his legs, rather than stopping him, telling him “no” or that its “wrong” we want to come from the belief that he is doing this as a way to take care of his body, and for him that particular sensation feels good.
Now with our children on the autism spectrum we want to create consistency (this is how we make an impact with our children). So what I might try is taking a moment to speak with the people that are going to be a part of his life at school: teachers, aids, therapists, etc. and take the time to explain to them how you would love if each of them as influential people in Oscar’s life could decide to be really loving and accepting of this behavior… without judgment. --- Take the time to sit down with them and come up with some replacement beliefs to “the behavior is wrong”… instead it might be “what Oscar is doing is taking care of his body in the best way he knows how, lets help him understand some places where this is more appropriate” lets be loving, easy and guide him!
It may be that when the people in his life react to him doing this they may actually be encouraging it. … it may be that in his life he knows that when he rubs himself people move away, give him the space he had been wanting, or that when he touches himself the people around him actually get really big and exciting (“no” “don’t do that” “that’s wrong” – all of which is attention that he is getting). As a team of people in his life, as I mentioned earlier, try to come to a decision on how you want to react to this… something we would suggest is using loving explanations. Rather than telling him to stop, or that is it wrong, try instead saying” if you want to touch yourself or rub yourself you can do it in the bathroom, or your bedroom, there is a place for you do to that” . He may then go to the bathroom or his bedroom – Wonderful! Celebrate him for this and continue to remind him this is the place where he can help his body in that way.

The other thing I would suggest is booking a call with one of our Family Counselors free of charge. They will be able to answer any questions you may have about our program and how it can further benefit Oscar and yourself. Please do call (877) SON-RISE or (877) 766-7473. I very much hope you call as we would absolutely love to help you and share more of the Son- Rise Program with you!
With love,
Kim