Autism Treatment Center of America Forum

[mariana]

Hello wonderful people!
I'm Mariana, from Argentina.
I'm writing because I need some help with my son's language. In fact, it's not just about language - as most language issues. My son just turned 5, we've had his dx for 6 months (PDD NOS) , we did 1 month of ABA and after spending like 500 hours on the internet I found you! (Thank you Lord). We stopped ABA and we started the program 3 months ago with lots of echolalia and 2 loops of conversation. Now he's over the echolalia in the playroom and around the house, though he still responds with what has been said to him if the situation is new or if he's not familiar with the person who's talking to him. He can interact nicely with 5 loops or more in games, if we're talking about what's going on here and now, and is also starting to share some things that happened before ( like "went to the supermarket with daddy to buy food" when he enters the house. He now actually answers YES NO questions, what, where and who questions (I cannot thank you enough, I'm still suprised when he actually anwsers me! I never stopped asking, but I had kind of given up on getting an answer, it's so beautiful to hear him!) He's mostly in stage 3 for everything, although moving on to stage 4 in some areas. Now, one thing that I have just noticed is that he NEVER asks questions . I hadn't noticed it before, maybe becuase there were bigger limitations in his communication. But I have the feeling that it is not just a language thing, it's the way he deals with reality. He sees something that he has never seen before and he doesn't ask anybody what it is. What he does is create his own answers for everything! so if i take him to the greengrocer's, for example, he'll look at say a grapefruit and say: this is a big orange! I have tried telling him: no, it's not a grapefruit, do you want to know what it is? and he'll say, no, it's a big orange!
what can I do to help him formulate questions? I have decided to work on it in the playroom as asking questions would help him interact in a much richer way with his environment,and negotiate reality with other people creating shared experiences of curiosity and discovery. The team and I have decided to start presenting him our games as one of the flexibility goals for the next few months? in order to stimulate his curiosity and interest in other people and objects and games which he doesn't know. Also, I have tried some games intended to give him opportunities to ask questions specifically. For example: I bought some plastic groceries to "make a soup" together. He saw the bowl, I explained we were going to make soup, and he responded enthusiastically. We sat at the table and I took out the "recipe". The first were two tomatoes. he identified them quickly and tried to find them in the grocery bag I had brought into the playroom. We added them to the soup and stirred, tried it, decided it was awful as it needed more ingredients. So the next line on the recipe showed the picture of an onion. he saw it and said: we need a brown ingredient! Yes! I celebrated him, cheered him, and we found it in the bag. Before he put it into the soup I said: this ingredient has a name, do you want to know what it is? No, he said, it's a brown ingredient! The same thing happened with the rest of the list. Not once did he ask a question (What's it called? what is it?) We also bring in little toys wrapped up as presents and encourage him to ask "what is it" before we tear the paper and discover what it is. Same result: it's a present! he says, which is also difficult to react to as it is true!
I know it takes time, and it's ok if we need to play 100 games like this in order to inspire his curiosity and his desire to ask questions. What I need to know is whether what we are doing is ok, or whether there is a more effective way of helping him.
Thank you for your wonderful work! I'll be waiting for your answer!
Love,
Mariana

[mariana]

oh! I forgot to mention sth important! I DID Model the questions!
thanks again!

[SusanHumphries]

Mariana,

I absolutely loved reading your post. Your enthusiasm and celebration of your son totally shines through. I am cheering you on for jumping and helping your son grow so significantly using The Son-Rise Program® . Thank you for giving such clear examples of what your son is doing and how ways you are trying to help him.

It is exciting that you have a clear goal of inspiring him to ask “what,” “who” and “where” questions. When we want our children to understand a new concept we want to be mindful that we are modeling with delight, that we are celebratory of all attempts even if they may not be the clear result, we want to design games based on our child's motivation that will leave space to challenge them, in addition we want to give fun explanations as to why it is useful to ask questions.

In your example of the grapefruit, a.k.a, THE BIG Orange , here are some things to consider; celebrate your son’s direction to sharing his thoughts and creativity vs. trying to correct it. Next, I may model more clearly and run over and get a big orange and put it next to the grapefruit. Then I would explain in a fun way. This does look like a big orange but actually it tastes very different than that. It has a different name, which is grapefruit. I could buy it if you want to taste the difference. If he insists that it is a big orange, then let it be. This is something we will have more freedom to work within the playroom. It sounds like he may get somewhat inflexible with this new part of his development.

Your games sound so creative and useful. Here some additional thoughts;
•Leave cliff hangers- Create stories based on his motivations. Bring them to life with pictures, puppets and actions. When you ask him ,”do you want to know what this is,” he can shut down what you are going for based on his answer, which is “no”. The cliffhanger will leave space where he would naturally ask such questions. Since this is a challenge for him you want to base your fun story on a motivation and leave room for the request when you see that he is motivated for the story. You want to use an energy of excitement and anticipation during this time. Say you are telling a story of an adventure at the beach. You can exclaim “When I crept up to the ocean I heard a silly sound “ARR” “ARR”ARR”!” You will never guess WHAT I saw?” Then pause for up to 8-10 seconds vs. offering him the answer!

• Design games that involve asking your friends questions- You can interview favorite characters, playmates, puppets. Model the game first by interview a character. Maybe he can watch and be entertained. Then offer him time to ask questions.

• Explain that asking questions is a fun way to get to know our friends. Have fun modeling asking questions to other people around the house, in front of him. Celebrate each other for the question you are asking. This way he can really see it in action and get a deeper understanding of it’s use.

• Design games that require guessing, charades

• Introduce him to the concept of who what and where in your statements. The Sea is Where the octopus lives. Mary Ann is Who you will play with next. The greengrocer’s is Where Big Oranges are!


Mariana, have so MUCH FUN! You sound like you have a creative and fun team. It is an amazing journey you have chosen. Love every minute.

[mariana]

Dear Susan
THANK YOU SO MUCH for your suggestions! I have excellent news: HE HAS STARTED ASKING QUESTIONS! Actually, he's constantly asking "What's this" and "What's it for" questions, everytime he sees something he doesn't know the name and use of!!!! I cannot tell you how much I love to hear him! And today, when I got home, he came up to me and asked: What have you brought for me? (first question that is not about an object in front of his eyes!!!!) He has also started asking "Who's coming to play with me today? Who's coming after that?"?
He has also started to use a question to start a conversation: what's your favourite x?
I loved all your ideas as they will add a new dimension to his use of questions, which is a bit repetitive right now (I think he might be excercising his questions muscle . I will try them all! We are already playing charades, but we were using the game for helping him be spontaneous in his verbal communication, I didn't realize we could use it for questions as well! And he also loves to hear stories, so he'll love that idea too! I also LOVED the idea of an interview! He recently watched Toy Story (it's the first film he has watched in his life! he used to watch 30 min segments of youtube videos repetitively), and as we have removed the TV from the house and we have also banned the computer, he now asks me to tell him the story in the film, his favourite parts. Also, he has asked for Christmas presents for the first time! (Toy story characters) which we'll be able to interview as well!
Thank you, thank you, thank you for answering, for providing such wonderful ideas, and for reaching out to help us! I AM loving every minute of our journey!
love,
Mariana

[SusanHumphries]

That is so wonderful. We celebrate you hugely for all that you have done to support your family. WOW! Thank you for sharing your thoughts because you are supporting other families who are out in the world.

Have the best time this Holiday Season! That reminds me, since the Holidays are just around the corner be sure to check out Raun's article on how to really support our special children during the festivities. http://www.autismtreatmentcenter.org/contents/reviews_and_articles/10_holiday_hiccups.php

Happy Holidays and Happy New Year!!