being a team leader

being a team leader

Postby loveSon-rise » Fri Jan 21, 2011 7:32 pm

I wonder if anyone who runs a son-rise program could give usefull tips on how to handle a team meeting.
i feel i need new ideas and some direction in how to be a team leader with 3E's as well.
look forward to hearing from other team leaders

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Joined: Fri Jan 21, 2011 7:19 pm

Re: being a team leader

Postby BeckyDamgaard » Fri Feb 11, 2011 12:38 pm


My name is Becky and I am a Son-Rise Program Teacher here at The Autism Treatment Center of America. I would love to help you with this. l have run many, many, many team meetings here at the Intensive Program. Can you please give me a bit more information about what your meeting usually involves. What do you talk about, who is there, do you use forms or have a typical agenda for the meeting? I can also help you with the 3 E's piece. Is it the way you feel? Or is it expressing the 3 E's outwardly? At what point of the meeting is the most challenging for you? where do you tend to feel stuck exactly?

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

warm regards,
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Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 1:51 pm

Re: being a team leader

Postby loveSon-rise » Mon Feb 21, 2011 2:03 pm

thank you Becky,
We usually start the team meeting with a picture of our special child and we take a few moments to focus on him, we follow that with each of us telling something special that he has done since the last meeting.
We then move to discussions on how we feel he has progressed and celebrate any sucess, last team meeting I asked our team of 3 volunteers, - (I had put a bunch of different signs on a piece of paper and asked them to copy with their non-dominant hand) I had the other 2 using their 3E's to cheer the person on, this didnt go down well! one felt they hadnt been cheered very well, one felt that was VERY rude to say that and so on...... I felt dumb for even suggesting what was hoping was going to be a great way to help those that needed to ramp up their 3E's in the room, also that i didnt know how to get the meeting back on track and help them to understand that it isnt RUDE but another way to help them find a way to use the 3E's more usfully in the room.
I asked them if they had seen any new isims, and once we had a few that were new I sugessted we brainstorm ways in which to join and this also didnt go down to well! it led to discussion on whether we join all isims now or just some and how we join, (whether we do it exactly how he does it or just similar to him, I was trying my best to think how Son-rise would do it and I felt that it was best to try and do it as close to how he is, I mean you do have to use common sense if he has 5 cars and only has 2 left for you then I thought you did the best with just the 2 cars you had.
At this time we havent used forms but i have taken notes on the meeting and then emailed them to everyone after, i wonder if theres a better way to do this, also I know it is how I feel to as I havent had much self confidence to run a meeting and always I wonder if I'm doing it right.
I felt after the meeting that everything I had suggested was usless and felt really down, we now have another team meeting coming up and I am feeling a little... um well just wondering how it is going to go! I start out feeling good but when it gets tough like that I start to feel that I'm not doing a good job and then give up which of course I know doesnt help.
I have asked if everyone can bring the notes of the sessions in the room and highlight any are areas that we feel we need to work on.

I would be very thankful for any ideas you may have.
from a Son-rise Mom:)
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Joined: Fri Jan 21, 2011 7:19 pm

Re: being a team leader

Postby jz247 » Fri Feb 25, 2011 4:04 am

I am a Son-Rise mom started seven months ago with our 11 years old son making remarkable progress.
I just attended another Son-Rise team meeting for another family and have enjoyed it greatly. We all can learn from each other.
One thing that I notice is your self doubt. If you are the mom, you are the BEST. Nobody knows your child better than you do.
I am not sure if anybody else is judging your leading of the team meeting but yourself. Treat yourself the same way you treat your child, celebrate every thing you did and be present. Stop worrying as it steals energy and time from your very precious team meeting.
And the only way the team is going to enjoy the meeting is if you enjoy it. So find something that you enjoy doing and bring it to the team.
i.e. I love playing games, and so we started off with a game (our last meeting happens to be on Valentine's day). Its called the biggest lover. We each took a pad and start writing down what we love about the child. And after ten minutes, we then counted each others' note to see who have the most. Then we presented a stuffed teddy bear to the biggest lover. It was quite an experience to share what others see and love about our child.
We show session videos of our volunteer's highlight moments and celebrate it together.
We do pretty much the same as you do, and we treat each other the Son-Rise way too. We cheer and celebrate! We ask challenging questions and encourage ideas. We jump and dance for 3Es. And basically, its a fun fun meeting with a purpose to recover my son.
We do have a meeting agenda to keep us on topic and schedule.

I think the bottom line is to believe. Believe in a higher power (GOD), believe in yourself (moms know best), believer in your child (he is doing the best he can) and believe in your volunteers in every way. When you believe and truly believe it, it shows and it attracts.

Hope it helps,
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Joined: Mon Apr 12, 2010 1:47 am

Re: being a team leader

Postby BeckyDamgaard » Wed Mar 30, 2011 4:54 pm

Hi Again,

Thank you so much for the information I have a clearer picture of what your meetings look like now. A big thank you to Joey for sharing your insights. I LOVED the ideas that you gave to help and support this lovely Son-Rise Mom!

Here are some things I would like to add.

It sounds like what the team really needs is to bond with eachother. The more that you all have a rapport and can get to know eachother, the more the 3 E's will present themselves. I always like to quietly imagine someone who is not demonstrating the 3 E's finding out that they just won the lottery and picturing how they would celebrate and respond to that. I think it would pay to spend some time (if you don't already), individually with each person and find out something that they are excited about in their life. Such as a hobby they have or a subject they are passionate about. Get to know them better and celebrate them. The more appreciated they feel and the more you know about them, the more at ease they will feel when it comes to team meeting time.

For the meeting:

Create an intention for yourself: This is so easy yet often forgotten, as you plan the next meeting, think about what you want to focus on for yourself and really fulfill that intention. Some suggestions are "I'm going to have fun", "I'm going to demonstrate the 3 E's", "I'm going to feel grateful", "I'm going to love and be kind to myself" you can choose your own, Having an intention will keep you in the attitude and help you to stay clear and focused.

Do what you love! I love what Joey said about choosing a game because she likes to play games. Create a fun activity that everyone can do that does not single out individuals but instead creates a team spirit, perhaps charades, or picking up several random items from around the house and playing an impro game where you pass it around and pretend it's a different prop with each person.

Include some gratitude for everyone. Maybe at the end, you could have everyone share something they appreciate about another team member or a special moment they witnessed with another team member. That way the team are working together, not against eachother.

Keep it simple, it will be much more effective to limit the meeting to 3 or 4 subjects and get really clear as a team on what the resolution is on each topic. Remember, you will ultimately decide what is the best way to help your child and not your team members. Listen to each person, take in the information and then make a decision on what you think would best suit your child. it's not about perfection, it's about experimentation. The whole point of the meetings is to see what's working and what's not working. After you have made your decision, have everyone try it until the next team meeting and then discuss how it went next time.

Celebrate yourself! You are doing such an amazing job! You have been running meetings! That is an incredible and wonderful thing, give yourself a huge cheer for daring to do something challenging in order to help your child.

Let me know how it goes.

Warm regards,
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