Changing a belief can change an outcome

Changing a belief can change an outcome

Postby Rekha » Sat Nov 13, 2010 7:14 am

On chatting to my friend Paula she reminded that so many times changing or helping ourselves to get more comfortable is a key to us then going on to be able to help our kids.

For example when my son (Rohan) started having seizures two years ago where he would fall to the floor, convulse and then pass out for an hour, I FREAKED OUT! I was terrified, I didn’t know how to help him how he felt, I was futurising and catastrophising thinking my child is going to be really sick or worse, unhappy in the future. Empathising with my child thinking how awful this must be for him, the result was that I was angry, scared and most of all not present and therefore totally ineffective at helping my little boy.

I spoke to a friend (also a Son-Rise Mum) and she told me to do an Option Process® Dialogue about this discomfort, she said it is not helpful to Rohan for me to feel this way. In hind sight it was one of the single most important things I did to help my son and myself. In this Dialogue I went from a place of hating the seizure to feeling neutral about them I decided I wanted to be there for Rohan and not in my head doing fear and other things.

The next time Rohan had a seizure I checked in with myself, I was calm and I was here for him and then I just did what felt natural. I held his hand and stroked his back gently telling him that I was right there for him. As I watched from this neutral place, I saw him holding his muscles and his breath very tightly it reminded me of having contractions whilst in labour. So I started to coach him to breath just as the midwife had done with me.

Over the course of a year something amazing happened. Rohan’s seizures went from last 3-4minutes (often he would vomit during this period) after which he would freak out/scream and pass out for an hour. To 5-40seconds long, he often just gets up and walks off but if he does need a rest it’s just 10mins. Even more exciting was that even before I get to him now I see him taking action himself and helping himself by relaxing and starting to breath.

What I find most amazing is that he is more empowered to help himself because I took action to help myself!

See my site for more details about booking a dialogue session. http://www.rekhaneilson.co.uk/ or call me +44(01353) 699457

Love,
Rekha.x
Rekha Neilson
Option Process Mentor-Counsellor, Empowering you to transform your life
.
Website: http://www.rekhaneilson.co.uk/
Email: rekha.neilson@gmail.com
Tel: +44 (0)1353 699457
Mobile: +44 (0)7761 266664
Rekha
 
Posts: 18
Joined: Fri Jun 04, 2010 2:32 am
Location: Cambridgeshire, Uk

Re: Changing a belief can change an outcome

Postby nschumacher » Fri Jan 14, 2011 6:11 pm

This is one of the BEST stories I have ever heard! Thank you for sharing with us! I have also experienced the miracle of changing a belief leading to change of outcome. When we motivate ourselves with fear, anger, panic, worry (I used to be highly skilled at this...ha ha), we become blind and paralyzed. I will never forget the moment I realized (during a dialogue with Cyde) that worry and fear are actually producing the opposite outcome I was after in the first place. My entire life began to change once I realized all the negative emotions weren't worth it anymore. My son went from an extremely exclusive 3- year old (pre-Son-Rise) and grew beyond what most thought was ever possible. He is now an extremely sociable, hilarious, very active 9-year old boy. He joined ski club with his school and his favorite thing to do is anything and everything SOCIAL. This is the COMPLETE opposite of where we started. My best advice, keep an open mind, learn AS MUCH as possible about yourself and the Son-Rise program, focus on happiness in the moment, and PERSIST PERSIST PERSIST! We are continuing to work on Stage 5 skills with him, which is unbelievable since he barely registered in Stage 1 when we started!
nschumacher
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Jan 14, 2011 5:53 pm

Re: Changing a belief can change an outcome

Postby Rekha » Sat Jan 15, 2011 7:31 am

Wow that is so amazing, I love hearing stories like that, always gives me goose bumps!

I often find that families of kids with special needs focus spending time and energy on their kids which is fab, but don't directly focus on their own discomforts as they see it as less important.

I see them as one of the same thing, the more comfortable I get with my kids special and typical the better place I am in to help them, love them and support them in their growth. The Option process dialogue is such an amazing tool that we have at our disposal. I feel very privileged to be able to support families in this way.

Please take a look at my site for more details.

Love,
Rekha.x
http://www.rekhaneilson.co.uk/index.php
http://www.rekhaneilson.co.uk/store/
Rekha Neilson
Option Process Mentor-Counsellor, Empowering you to transform your life
.
Website: http://www.rekhaneilson.co.uk/
Email: rekha.neilson@gmail.com
Tel: +44 (0)1353 699457
Mobile: +44 (0)7761 266664
Rekha
 
Posts: 18
Joined: Fri Jun 04, 2010 2:32 am
Location: Cambridgeshire, Uk


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