Getting started at 11

Getting started at 11

Postby LoveHeals » Mon Mar 22, 2010 5:36 pm

Hello All,
Hoping to get some feedback. I have a son who will be turning 12 on April first and I am just starting a sonrise program at home. I am feeling a little insecure at times as i can see that many of the other parents have mostly younger children, yet see how the approach is applicable to anyone at any age! Im just wondering what some of the differences you might see in running a program for an older child vs a younger child might be.

Thanks
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Re: Getting started at 11

Postby Billy Davies 28 » Wed Mar 31, 2010 11:27 am

Hi Love Heals :D

I have a child of 8 and we have done son-rise for nearly 5 years. The main differences that i can think of is dependant on the level your son is at. If he is mature and into age appropriate interests then the games etc.. should be aimed at his level. I would also promote the play-room as a focus room, which is just a cool distraction free room, so he can concentrate better.
We started off with Edward as a 3 year old and all the props and toys were aimed at 18 month level. Now he still has the odd favourite in there, but the puzzles and games are more complex. He is now 8 and he has grown. Edward is staying interactive longer, being more flexible and able to communicate his wants better. So his enviroment has evolved with him at his pace.
All our children are unique so evryone may have a slightly different play/focus room.

I love that even though you are feeling a little insecure you still put it out there. You know your son's interests. Try starting with them and using the attitudinal and physical techniques of the son-rise program. If you have any questions please feel free to get in touch.

Lots of Love

Billy, Sam, Olivia & Edward
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Re: Getting started at 11

Postby maple » Wed Apr 21, 2010 12:31 am

Bonjour!

Just to let you know that your not alone out there. I'm also starting a son rise program at home with my 14 yrs old daugther. I'm not certain of what I'm doing at the moment and can't wait for my start-up program coming this june. Until then, I don't feel I can advise you. What I'm trying at the moment is to get comfortable with the process and remind myself that this is not a race. My starting point with my daughter, is not to follow the curriculum but to have fun together until she understand that she as all the control in the play room. When I will have succed with this, I will look at adding things from the curriculum.

I'd love to keep in touch through this process and see if we can help each other.

Au revoir!

Maude
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Re: Getting started at 11

Postby eileen506 » Sun May 30, 2010 1:01 pm

I re-started my son's programme last September when he was 12 following a 3-year-break during which I was dealing with lots of personal problems, including my marriage break-up. I had the same dilemma as you in that I was now teaching an older child so I wanted to help him learn but not treat him like a baby. He was 13 this month and this is how, 8 months later, I'm now tackling the programme - some things I start from the top basing my ideas for games on what a typical 13-year-old boy would like and other things I start from his current ability level which is that of a much smaller child. I find he responds to and learns from both types of activities and I feel reassured that I'm always giving him lots of different opportunities.

Have confidence in your own knowledge of your child and have fun too. The only thing I regret on my programme is not trying/being daring enough and worrying too much. I'm going to post a message to myself about that in the playroom. Good luck. Lots of love and best wishes from Eileen (in Norwich, England).
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Re: Getting started at 11

Postby LoveHeals » Tue Jun 08, 2010 12:18 pm

Wow,
I am just getting back to this now, and am so elated to connect with you guys! I would love to stay in touch with yall and bounce ideas off of each other. Great advice from all of you!
Maude, im very excited for you for your srp, it is life changing.
Billy, excellent advice and thank you for offering support. I am taking it! =)
I am also a single mom, so Eileen, i understand how it is for you too.
Would you guys like to connect with me, i would love to have a chance to chat. Im on facebook, my email is intuitivehands@sbcglobal.net
thanks for so much support and love.
we are just getting into a more intense program as he is now out of school, and its taken me a bit of adjustment and changes to get motivated. So now i am ready, room is up, summer is here and here we go! How many of you homeschool.
We should start a group on yahoo or fb, for older son-rise parents/kids who want to connect!

love
Jody
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Re: Getting started at 11

Postby Natasha Abdul » Thu Aug 05, 2010 4:39 am

Hello,
I am also thinking to re start the son-rise program for my brother who will be 12yrs old this month..i ran the program for him for 2 years and now after two years break i wanna start it again but the problem is that i am so much distrubed emotionally.. i have lost my connection with him that i had during SRP due to some family problems.. i feel like crying many times and i feel that he dont likes to be with me now..i need motivation and support which really lacks arround me and because of that i have now became very careless i loose my temper quickly on him i feel frustrate and i am so guilty of it.. can you people give me few motivational words so that i can get these 3E's back?
regards,
Natasha.
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Re: Getting started at 11

Postby CarolinaKaiser » Tue Sep 07, 2010 6:40 pm

Hello to all of you!
What a great discussion - and great support you're all giving to each other! It is so wonderful that you're all starting programs for your children - at any age! It's so important to remember that age is not the deciding factor in how a child (or young adult, or adult) changes. Current brain research shows that our brains are elastic (changeable, malleable, able to grow new connections) at any age - 2 to 82!

I love all of the suggestions that have been offered here - and I would add only this: you can build (or rebuild) connection at any age. Natasha - you mentioned that you feel like crying when your brother does not connect - because you have lost the connection you once had. I would suggest that the way to move through this and to feel more comfortable is to return to the belief you have in your brother. For our children who are older, there are so many beliefs thrown around out there in the world that our children can't change once they've passed a certain age. This simply isn't true. We all change and grow and develop throughout our entire lives. I know children who have learned to speak their first words in their teens. We must simply return to our belief that our children (or our brothers or sisters) CAN do what we hope for. We have to pull those dreams out of the closet and decide that since we're never going to give up on our child, then we want to BELIEVE in all of our dreams coming true.

We have worked with so many children (at many different ages) who go through periods of not connecting - seemingly losing the connection they once had - but this is just part of the growing process. It's okay - it doesn't mean we can't get that connection back. Instead - think this: because you once created a connection, that means you can do it again. You are going to be much more helpful and supportive of your brother changing, Natasha, when you focus on what you BELIEVE he can do, instead of fearing that he can't.

Also - when our children are older, I think it's particularly important that we share our belief in them - that we tell them how much we believe in them. Imagine - maybe they aren't sure they can connect with you, or talk to you, or look at you in the way you want. Perhaps they need us to be their cheerleaders - believing in them even more than they may believe in themselves. The more we believe, the more we show our confidence to our children or our siblings. Our belief in them can inspire them to reach fore more and more and more.

And finally - it just feels better to believe that you CAN get there - at any age. Nothing bad comes of hope - the more we hope, the better we feel! So unleash your hope - allow it to flow freely - believe in everything you've ever wanted for your child. Your belief will lead you to feeling really happy - and you'll be amazed at how much more your child responds to you.

Sending you all our very warmest wishes,
Carolina
Son-Rise Program Teacher
The Autism Treatment Center of America
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Re: Getting started at 11

Postby raetyty » Mon Oct 18, 2010 10:58 pm

Thank you so much for what you wrote Carolina! I have never given up hope for Tyler, but was starting to doubt me becuz Tyler is in a mode of not connecting right now. That still never stopped me from believing in Tyler. I guess just knowing that that happens gives me some relief that Im still headed in the right direction :)

Thank you! Love ya, Jamie
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Re: Getting started at 11

Postby Yagoub » Tue Nov 09, 2010 5:45 pm

Hello Jamie,

My name is Afaf I live in England I thought of writing to you because I have my son with aspergers he is 17. I just started the son-rise programme with him before three weeks and I always wanted to have other people's experience with similar situation. My son is at college and he studies IT course. He has some challenges such as the social, confidence, anxiety and not being able to make friends. After we started the programme I noticed that he started to be calm and I am really hoping that I will continue with him this amazing programme. He is loving it very much and always ask me to go to the room. One of the reasons of making him happier is that I had to change some attitudes of myself.


He is in Glutin/Casien free diet since Feb 2010 he is very committed to it. If you are on Facebook please add me my profile is Afaf Elhillo. I really have some questions may be you could help me as having the experience on the son rise with your son for sometime.

If there is any other parent having a child at the same age I would appreciate it if you give me your experience.

Thank you so much

Yours

Afaf
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Rett Syndrome

Postby Yagoub » Tue Nov 09, 2010 5:52 pm

Hello Everybody,

Has anyone please have experience of a child with Rett Syndrome and applied the son rise programme and what is the result.

Thank you so much.

Afaf
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