Autism Treatment Center of America Forum

[slmr55]

Previously we did not have a bathroom in the play room so our son Kris age 33 would come up to use the bathroom. He was using that excuse to get out of the playroom and it would take food to get him to go back down. We built a bathroom in he playroom but now he would rather wet himself then use that bathroom. We have extra clothes down there and yesterday he did change out in the playroom. Today he did change his clothes in the bathroom. He is still refusing to use the bathroom. (this is only the 2nd day of having the bathroom) A lot of his time is spent standing by the door wanting out. We are trying to stand firm and insist he does not get out of the play room. What do you suggest. Any help would be appreciated.

[BeckyDamgaard]

Hello!

Wow, I am impressed with the work you have done building a bathroom onto your playroom. That is going to be so incredibly helpful and supportive for your program!

I think you are doing a great job by having a change of clothes down in the playroom and also staying strong in your boundary of not having Kris leave the playroom.

Remember, he is craving control and predicatbility and his old predictable routine of coming out of the playroom and going to the bathroom has now been changed. This means that he will test that boundary because he is doing the best he can to get what he wants. What will help is consistency right now, so make sure that everyone is on board and there are no loop holes with any family members or volunteers letting him out. He is a smart guy, he will soon realize there is a new way of doing things. here are some things to do to help you on your journey.

All changes have a transition period. Please know that it may take some time for Kris to learn the new way of doing things but with your love, and consistency he will get there!

Give Kris plenty of explanations! Sweetly let him know that even if he stands by the door for the whole day, the door will not open and the new toilet is waiting to be used.

Know that this is an act of love! You are helping him in the most helping and nurturing way to give him an environment that he will thrive in and not going out of the playroom will be more beneficial for his growth and social connection.

Make sure you have everything he needs in the playroom, plenty of clothes, snacks, and some items he loves so that there is no possible resason for him to want to leave.

Make the new bathroom/toilet inviting for him and perhaps look at the bathroom he usually uses and try to make your new bathroom as similar as possible.

He is used to the old routine, this is all about creating a new routine for him.

I'd love to know how it goes!

lots of love,

Becky (Son-Rise Program Teacher)