Autism Treatment Center of America Forum

[SimonaSchoemetzi]

Hi there,

since Irina is in school in the mornings, I'm not yet thinking of doing playdates in the playroom. But I would like to explain playdates to the occupational therapist who visits Irina twice a week in Kindergarten. It's his job to integrate her into the group. He very nicely organizes small playgroups and initiates games, to show Irina how she can play with the others and show other kids that it's worth playing with Irina. As long as he's there she participates very well.
When he's gone she will either play alone or with 1 to 2 kids much younger than herself (here in Germany, 3 to 6 year olds are all in one group, Irina is 5 1/2 and will be one of the eldest after the summer).

Are there any recommandations from a SRP point of view? How do you faciliate playdates? Does it make sense to have 5 kids in the group or would it be more efficient to just have two?

Any advice or experiece is very much appreciated!!
Tanja

[BeckyDamgaard]

Hi again!

Actually we would recommend just one on one to begin with as a way to observe and see what she is doing and what she might have a challenge with socially. Of course if the only option is 5 or 2 others, go for the two other children.

We are looking for several things which would take talking to us in more depth during a consultation to fully help you: For example, how is she using her eye contact and non-verbal communication? How is she verbally communicating with them (e.g. can she begin a game with her language, or be spontaneous and appropriate in what she wants and doesn't want?). can she follow another childs lead as well as initiating with another child. Does she allow change or other peoples ideas into her own games. How long can she attend to an interaction? Does she stim?

There are many factors but the above are some things to start looking out for.

All the best!

[SimonaSchoemetzi]

Hi Becky,

I can't stop thanking you for all the insights you share!! May I send you a virtual hug?

I will definitely pass on to the occupational therapist the idea of just asking one child to join them and then, over some time, gradually expand towards a small group.

About your questions:
Her eye contact is increasing almost by the day right now concerning adults - not so much with peers.
I'm not sure how well she communicates with peers in Kindergarten. At home, usually her sister takes lead and Irina will go with her for quite a while. But when she wants something different and it comes to negotiating she's pretty lost. Sometimes she wants to play with younger children and some of those times it might work but often it doesn't.
When she decides to play on her own she won't allow changes. If then another child interferes she will just walk away.
Her interactiv atenttion span depends largely on the attitude of the facilitating person. If she feels pushed in any way at all she will tune out within minutes.
If she feels accepted and respected she can go on for over an hour.
Does she stim? - That one's tricky. At first, we all thought she wouldn't. But the more I learn to observe her the clearer I notice two patterns of behaviors when she seems uncomfortable. With people she doesn't know or doesn't like she will just stare at them with a frozen smile on her face and hardly respond to anything or do anything. With poeple who she is familiar with, she will try to engage us into some kind of repetitious game e.g. sing the same song over again, read books to her on and on or she asks a series of 3 to 4 questions over and over again.

It has only been over the last few days that I noticed her quite a few times lining up figurines while I was talking to someone else. Today she only had 6 of them but they kept falling over and so Irina was busy lining them up for almost half an hour. I'm not quite sure what to think of that. Is it a step foreward? - She's learning to take care of herself by herself? Or is it more of a step into beeing more exclusive? I haven't figured it out yet. Overall she seems a lot more at ease these days and really enjoys the hours in the playroom.

With thankful thoughts,
Tanja

[SimonaSchoemetzi]

Hi once more!

Since my last post, I have focused on working one-on-one with Irina as much as possible. I cherish our time together in the playroom and often think, that she needs them to make up for the exhausting hours at school. So I'm not planning on doing playdates in the afternoons.

But now she is starting to ask for her sister, Aiyana (8), to come to the playroom with us. I tried it once. But Aiyana is so used to "being the boss" that it gets really difficult to let Irina have control. I tried to explain to Aiyana, what the intention in the playroom is, but I figure she's just too young to be a facilitator...

And yesterday Irina asked me to invite a little girl (3) from school over to play. Shall I take her and a friend to the playroom? Or would it make more sense to let them play around the house? But then we miss those hours in the playroom - is that worth it?

Now, I just don't know what to do.

Love,
Tanja

[BeckyDamgaard]

Hi Tanja,

I do not get notifications when someone replies to a thread on this messageboard so I apologize that this is such a late response.

I would explain to Irina that you believe it's best not to have Aliyana in the playroom because it is your time to play with someone who is going to let you play the games you want to play. Tell her you have noticed that Aliyana seems to take charge when she's in the playroom and then we don't get to help you as much. So I'm going to ask that you don't invite her in the playroom right now.

With regards to the girl at school, it's totally up to you if you want to invite her over. If you do, you can take them to the playroom, set them up with an activity, then sit back and observe and see how she does.

With love,

[SimonaSchoemetzi]

..take them to the playroom, set them up with an activity, then sit back and observe and see how she does.

That's the part I've been missing! Now that you say so, it seems so obvious.
Irina hasn't bee asking for it lateley, but if she comes up with it again, that's what we'll do.

Thank you, Becky!!