Autism Treatment Center of America Forum

[SimonaSchoemetzi]

Hi there,

up to now, we haven't had a playroom yet but just playtimes. But now we finally found a way to create a playroom and soon we can start setting it up!
Now, how do I explain to my little girl (5), why we create an extra playroom?

Hopefully I will attend the Start-Up in Portugal. We plan to have my husband and our daughter come with me and she is allready very excited about the trip. Again, how do I explain to her why we are going there? She is quite convinced that she can stay with me all day. When I tell her that she will be with daddy during the day and we will meet again for dinner she immediately changes the subject.
So, I'm a little lost trying to explain the Son-Rise Program to her.

I would very much appreciate to learn how others handle this.

Kind regards,
Tanja

[BeckyDamgaard]

Hi Tanja,

We are so excited you are planning to come to the Start-Up Program in Portugal!

The thing do do is to be as open and honest with your daughter as possible. We are wanting her to trust and connect with people as easily as possible so giving her lots of explanations and telling her the truth is going to be really helpful.

You could say something like "Mommy and Daddy love you so much and want to help you be able to play and have friends. We have created a special playroom for you where we get to play lots of games and have lots of fun. In this room you get to play with what you want, it's going to be wonderful!"

Also explain about your trip. "Mommy is going to spend 5 days learning about how to help you and spending time with other families who have children just like you! Daddy will be looking after you and I will see you at the end of each day!"

Even though she changes the subject, that doesn't mean your daughter is not istening to and taking in what you are saying. Allowing her time to process this in her own time will be key.

We look forward to seeing you soon Tanja!

Warm regards,

[SimonaSchoemetzi]

Hi Becky,

I'm really excited about going to Portugal, too - especially, now I know it's for sure! I can't stop smiling, everytime I think of it.

Thank you so much for your answer!

Now, we explain as much as possible and allways tell her the truth.
But how do we talk about "learning about how to help you" or "other families who have children just like you" without indicating that something is wrong with her?
She quite likes me or other people taking extra time with her and I don't get the feeling, she thinks she needs help.
So, right now I'm just telling her that I want to learn new games to play with her. And she says that's great!
Shall I just leave it with that?

Kind regards
Tanja

[BeckyDamgaard]

Hi Tanja,

It sounds really wonderful what you are doing with her! Keep going. I personally think it's ok to let her know that we all have challenges in our lives and that some of her challenges are knowing how and what to play with other children. I would only go into this more though if she asks more about it. You could even share some of your own challenges and how you are always looking for ways to grow yourself.

With love,

[SimonaSchoemetzi]

You could even share some of your own challenges and how you are always looking for ways to grow yourself.

That's a great thought, not only with Irina. I do sometimes share with my kids (my firstborn is 18) what I have experienced or learned but I haven't yet thought of talking about challenges... - That opens quite a new perspective. - Thanks!!