Autism Treatment Center of America Forum

[Sue-Ellen B.]

Hello Son-Rise!!

I have a question / statement here that i'd like some imput on...My son Enrique has suddenly leaped forward in his program to the point where we can see him being able to join a school environment. (Soon) To help him get used to being around other children (especially ones he doesn't know) i've been taking him to a playground to play. I feel that he is getting increasingly better at starting interations with other children at the park. He used to just stand and stare at the other kids, now he asks to go to the park and see if there are any children there to play with!!!! Just today he started a game of 'tag' with another child where he kept going back to the child and seeking more interaction and game!!!!! YEAH Enrique!!! I was really just hoping that these signs are really proof of social flexabillty and interaction and not just my biased Mother point of view!

I have also had play dates with children he does know and they have gone well. He seems to play their games and they play his. He is a 'talker' so the chit chat of play is constant. I just find it hard to know when is something 'autisic' or 'normal'! Like when children differ on opinions and games but soon resolve the difference without tears and fighting......How much difference of opinion is there in the 'real' world , as opposed to the ASD world!?

I'm really just wondering about all this....

Thanks for any answer.

Regards,

Sue

[BeckyDamgaard]

Hi Sue,

Wow, amazing! Huge thumbs up to you all and the work both you and Enrique have done to get to this point!

We agree that friends are always going to have a difference in opinion, no matter how old they are or whether they have social challenges or not! What will make the difference with Enrique is whether he is open and flexible or rigid and controlling. One of the four fundamentals of being a social creature is flexibility, so is he open to negotiating and working it out with his friends? Can he make a deal with them and come up with a happy medium? (e.g. "Let's play your game for 20 minutes and then my game for 20 minutes" For example). This will show him relating to others with a desire to connect with them.

We suggest you use The Son-Rise Program Developmental Model (stage 3 onwards) to see what challenges he still has socially. then you can work on each skill as it comes up.

We wish you all the best!