It is great to get the opportunity to follow up with you since our consultation. I recognized that it was you as soon as I started reading this question. It sounds like you have all had a wonderful go at implementing the ideas and techniques we discussed, so a big thumbs up to you all for that!
What would really be a great way to get more specific input would be for you to bring a video of this happening to Maximum Impact which I know that you are coming to in a couple of weeks. That way you can book a session with a Son-Rise Program Teacher and we can see the boundary being set live to get the whole picture of how it looks. Although the techniques we discussed are really effective with many children, when setting boundaries like this one, they need to be done with great comfort, clarity and consistency with the while team, otherwise they can fall apart because there is a loop hole. So with out really seeing it in action and observing Orly's response, etc, you could say that we are guiding you somewhat blindly.
When we work with some children who come to our intensive, for example and we see that there are certain things that make a mess in the playroom (it sounds like it's mainly the markers, paintbrush and lotion), we might remove them al together from the playroom because the child is simply not ready to use those items in a way that is effective and you end up spending more time setting boundaries or cleaning up than creating forward moving activities with them. This would be however only after we have really observed the child and tried the techniques mentioned.
The other part to it is that Orly may be seeking more control and perhaps he has lost it in other areas as he progresses in his program. For example, maybe when he's lying down staring (you mentioned on our call), he is not being joined when that could appear that he is tired or bored, perhaps in fact he is isming and we would then really join him with that. I know you are also giving toilet training a go, so all these things need to be considered. Are we celebrating him and joining him enough and not over challenging him in other areas?
If it was just the markers that you were having an issue with then we might suggest getting washable markers and letting it go for now. Again, more information on what's happening would be needed for that.
If you like I can put you in touch with another Son-Rise Program Mom who is going through something similar and has just had some breakthroughs with it. Please do let me know.
I hope to see you at Max Impact!