Autism Treatment Center of America Forum

[loveitglows]

hi all! my daughter just turned 7 and sometimes reverses pronouns like you, i, me, your. i'm not sure how to handle this and still be user friendly to her. i'm not sure if i should "play dumb" or not. i've gone thorugh all my notes from start up and i'm just not sure how to help her with this. plus for consistency it is a little confusing since i know what she's saying, but my volunteers don't, because they aren't used to it. any ideas out there? either for addressing this in the playroom or for everyday conversations. thanks!!!!!

[Patrick]

What i will suggest is that, so far you understand what your child is saying and your volunteers did not, i think you need to intensify on group discussion so that you train your volunteers on how they also can.
My best wishes and send my love to your volunteers.
Patrick

[CarolinaKaiser]

Hi Loveitglows -
(Great username, by the way!) And a great question - we'd love to help.

Our answer may be a little bit different than you are expecting, but I want to share with you what we have seen with children who reverse their pronouns. We have noticed that speaking with correct pronouns is a skill that most often takes care of itself, when we help a child to have a better attention span. It is common for typical children to mix pronouns when they are first learning to speak, and they correct their pronouns as they observe people speaking around them. For our children, it's the same - when they are more connected and paying more attention to the world around them, they seem to correct their pronouns on their own.

So, my first suggestion would be to work on your daughter's level of connection. What is her average attention span? Could you help her increase this? And how much does she fully participate in games (physically, verbally, with real joy and excitement for the game, etc.). If you try to teach pronouns, it can actually be very confusing for both of you - trying to explain that you means I and when and why... Instead, help your daughter continue to increase her level of connection, and you'll see that she'll improve her pronouns most likely all by herself.

If your daughter is fully connected and already full through Stage 3 of the Son-Rise Program Developmental Model,then you can incorporate some techniques to help her with her pronouns. Let me know where she's at on the Developmental Model and we can give you more guidance if she's already done with Stages 1, 2 and 3. Otherwise, I think that the best thing you can do to help her with her pronouns is to help increase her attention span and level of participation and excitement for the game.

Also, be sure to celebrate any time when your daughter does use her pronouns correctly! Let's encourage her when she's already using language that does make sense.

Looking forward to hearing more from you.

Warmest wishes,
Carolina

[loveitglows]

thank you carolina, for taking the time to answer my question. she's been doing this for many years, and i know it isn't addressed until stage 4, it can be frustrating for her when some people understand her and others don't (meaning, people who know her know what she means, but people who don't, get confused) she has mastered many of the stage 3 language milestones. we are working very hard on interactive attention span, so i know what you mean by being more connected and aware she will hopefully learn on her own. desire is sucha huge part of all of these skills, right? i think i'm just concerned because she has always done this, as long as she has been able to speak, (so from age 2 until now just turned 7) and we've tried many things to help her and yes it gets really confusing. it was suggested to me to say in a sweet, loving way, "oh, i think you mean..it'" or "are you trying to say..." so if she says, "can i have your bathing suit" (meaning can i have my bathing suit) i have been saying, "do you mean (hername's) bathing suit or mama's bathing suit? When she answers, i say "oh you can say my bathing suit" but don't make her say it to get the suit, and all very sweet and easy and loving. is it ok to do this? or should i stop?

thanks for any advice!

warmly,
erin

[mariana]

Hey! my son does exactly the same! And has also done it all his life! He's almost 5 now, and one thing that seems to be beginning to work now is this: I take his words literally. For example, he goes "you want juice" meaning HE does, and so I look at him with an exagerated look of playful surprise on my face and answer: "I want juice? reallly? No! I don't want juice! (I laugh at this point, make sure he is looking at me and ask him "Who wants juice here? and so he laughs and answers I want juice. This happens hundreds of times a day, every time he mixes pronouns, and every time he manages to make the right choice. The good news is: some of his sentences are beginnning to carry the right pronouns spontaneously lately... I'm not sure this is good practice, but it seems to be working..., or maybe it is just him making progress in his language development, i really can't tell.