Autism Treatment Center of America Forum

[Jamiescla]

Hi everyone . I'm 25 years old my brother is 27 years old and autistic with severe OCD. I also have a sister who is 29 and getting married in July. My mother is a single parent who works a job that requires her to work Friday and Saturday late hours so we alll really have to plan our schedules to meet the needs of my brother . We have an excellent home health aid that comes mon thru fri from 4 to 9 that relieves some stress for us. My mother relies on my sister and I and our significant others for support which is fine and all but we are at a point where my brothers OCD and aggression has gotten so bad it is difficult to handle . If my mom buys chips that aren't meant for him we have to hid them, and when we do he goes crazy looking for them and has to eat the entire bag. He drinks soda and his OCD makes him have anxiety over numbers, if there were six cans and someone took one he has to drink five to finish the box ....we recently had an issue with medication where he counts pills and overdosed when no one saw ( his strength is outrageous he ripped the cover off the bottle ) we now have to lock up his medication but even that took a few weeks of relentless biting and hitting before he would let us do it. One day he saw that there was an uneven amount of the chicken cutlets he eats at meals and wanted three of them. When my mom tried to resist him he took her hand and put in his mouth and bit down as hard as he could .

His mood swings are scary and if he doesn't get what he wants he will hit you and bite till u bleed and give it to him. Which is why for everyones safety we always give in. My mom is at a point of major denial in her life personally with her relationship and depressed with many other things. I truly think she has the mentality that everything is just gonna work itself out and is not planning for when me and my sister move out .

I'm writing this with near tears in my eyes because we need help and don't know where else to turn. Is there anyone else on this planet with an autistic child as aggressive as this ? What can we do to diffuse him without nearly getting killed . I'm also writing because I need to help my family find and action plan for him .

Any words of encouragement/ advice would be very helpful
Thanks
Jamie

[KimKorpady]

Dear Jamie,
I am so glad that you have taken the time to write on our message board and reach out for help- your written words moved me and I am truly excited that you found the Autism Treatment Center of America and the Son-Rise Program as a way to help your family, your bother, and yourself.
I would love to suggest some useful tips that may help you with your bother. In addition to the tips I can offer I would highly recommend that you call us on 413-229-2100 to book a free, 25 minute Initial Call with one of our Family Counselor's here at The Autism Treatment Center of America. They will be able to help answer your questions about The Son-Rise Program and how it applies to your brother and how it can help your family.

From what you have written in your post it sounds like your brother is quite used to getting what he wants by throwing, hitting, biting, and breaking objects… At The Autism Treatment Center of America we suggest that you and your family create a room in your house that your brother is able to have complete control over -bearing his and your safety in mind-(we would suggest calling it a “focus room”- and you can even tell him that this room is special and just for him). In this room you will be able to spend quality time interacting with your brother and enjoying the things he loves to do without constantly having to battle on setting boundaries around different items in the house in order to keep him safe (after all, in the “focus room” you will not have any things that he could potentially get into which would be harmful to him). In this room he will also be able to see you enjoying doing the same things he loves and this will grow your bond and the level of trust he has for you- and possibly be more open to the next time you do set a boundary.

When moments like these do come up and you want to set a boundary around the house as a way to keep your brother safe - try offering him an alternative when you take something away. For example if he is chewing lots of different items around the house and even biting on your hands then offer him something else to chew on to possibly give him that sensory input that he may be seeking out. If he wants 5 items of one thing but it may not be the healthiest option for him--- experiment thinking of other ways you can offer him something in 5 --- such as 5 bits of food, or putting it into 5 bowls, etc.

There is always a way to make it work- allow yourself the opportunity to find out what that way is!
Also too, please take a moment to celebrate yourself for all the work you are doing that is truly loving and helpful for your family. Allow yourself to be easy with the journey in discovering what is most effective with your brother- by having an easy attitude we are able to open ourselves up more to discovering additional possibilities of help we may have looked over before. Know that you are doing everything you can to help your brother and your family and each day is a new opportunity to finding a new solution or way of helping.

Above all please take care of yourself and do give us a call -as I truly believe that we will be able to help!

These are a couple videos that you may find useful. I also suggest that you take a look at our blogs and video blogs that may help you discover another option when working or interacting with your brother.
The link below will take to you a blog about the common reasons why a child might be aggressive.
http://www.autismtreatmentcenter.org/bl ... energy.php

Then click on this other link that will take you to a webinar on how the Son-Rise Program helps children/and adults who have challenging behaviors.
http://www.autismtreatmentcenter.org/media:video,22,0


Warmest regards,
Kim