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Chapter II Continued
We Are Belief-Making and Belief-Consuming
Creatues
A woman in her middle seventies came
to our teaching center with the intention of dealing
with her anger at a culture that had begun to dismiss
her contributions and her wants because of her advancing
age. She had noted in stores and in her bank that
people spoke to her in loud little boy or little girl
voices, as if they believed she could not hear or
understand. Sometimes they addressed her as "dearie."
Although she had been a widow for
twenty years, she now decided she was ready to have
a meaningful relationship again, which she hoped would
include sex. When she shared this desire with her
friends, they changed the subject quickly. When she
approached her grown children, they appeared startled
and suggested that a desire for that type of physical
contact at her age was less than appropriate. They,
too, squashed the discussion. No one wanted to talk
to her about her overriding concerns, she said, "None,
except, of course, you!" We both laughed. She
delighted in being able to share her deepest thoughts
without being judged or rejected. "I guess there's
two times in life when you're not supposed to talk
about sex," she mused, "when you're under
ten and over seventy." She laughed again, thoroughly
enjoying her insights.
In our sessions together, as she
challenged and discarded the stereotypical beliefs
held by her family and friends, an underlying issue
surfaced. She realized that she had always been seeking
approval from the important people in her life, cutting
off her own desires in order to please others. As
soon as she verbalized the scenario, she decided immediately
that she no longer wanted to act in that way anymore.
In addition, she concluded that having sex as part
of a love relationship, even at her age, would not
only be dignified, but absolutely thrilling! Armed
with her new perspective and a new attitude, she returned
home.
Four months later, I received a letter
from this spirited lady. As I opened the envelope,
a photograph fell onto my desk. The picture captured
a beaming portrait of this woman arm-in-arm with a
smiling male companion. The message on the reverse
side said, "This is me with my boyfriend. We
just moved in together. He's fifty-eight years old,
a great friend and a wonderful lover. Not bad for
an old lady!"
People can change
at any age.
Where there is life, there is possibility.
Even ancient beliefs can he overturned or replaced
in a matter of moments.
We are the river!
Chapter
2 Continued »» |
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