Q&A session 9
Topic: Verbal "Isms"
have mildly-autistic (or Developmentally Delayed--whatever
you want to call it) 4 1/2 year old daughter. She is
an increasingly verbal, happy child (especially as we
slowly implement a Son-Rise program). What I am confused
about is the fact that she often says things like "I
love Lena's (her sister) new shape sorter" when she
clearly has no interest in it. Or "I like...." something,
someone or some event that we know she emphatically
does not like or does not seem to care about. Occassionally
she says that she doesn't like something that we know
she likes but, more often, it's the reverse.
How should we respond to these statements
that clearly don't seem to be meaningful to her? (Fortunately,
she additionally says, with apparent authenticity, that
she likes and loves things, as well.) We don't want
to ignore her; we don't feel it's appropriate to "correct"
her; and, yet, it's also awkward to respond as if she's
being true to herself.
We would greatly appreciate any advice
and look forward to finding a way to attend one of you
upcoming Start-Up seminars.
David Greenberg and Marisol V.
A: David and Marisol-
It's exciting that you are implementing a Son-Rise Program,
and the fantastic changes you are already seeing in
Anna! Congratulations on beginning a powerful and loving
journey with your daughter.
It sounds like Anna loves to say that she loves things.
What you are describing is what we call a verbal "ism"...
a repetitious and/or self-stimulating behavior. We would
encourage you to join in with Anna when she is saying
"I love Lena's shape sorter" or "I love the Teletubbies"
or whatever else she says she loves. So, you literally
say, "I love Lena's shape sorter!" or some version of
that (like, "Boy, what a great shape sorter!"). And,
speak the way she is speaking: for example, if she is
talking to you when she says she loves the shape sorter,
then say it back to her. If she seems to be speaking
to herself, then you speak to yourself.
The additional thing to do is to enjoy doing this with
her. She speaks like this for a reason, and this is
a wonderful chance for you to enjoy doing what Anna
loves. This can help you to foster a deeper sense of
relationship with her (from her point of view), and
give her the experience of being loved and accepted
in the moments she is doing her repetitious behavior.
This is the heart of the Son-Rise Program… loving her
deeply with whatever she is doing. When you share that
love with her, you are being with her in the most beautiful
and powerful way.
so many questions this time… thank you for sending them
For those of you who didn't get you're questions answered
(or those who have questions now), you can post your
question on the Son-Rise Message Board and the entire
Son-Rise internet community can help you out!
I hope everyone has a great winter! Enjoy your children.
Intro to Q&A Session
with Sensory Integration Dysfunction