From Kate Wilde:Joining the Ism
From Kate Wilde: Joining the the ism is at the heart of the Son-Rise Program, it is not just about the actions we take as we join in with our children's activities it is about how we feel and think as we take part in our children's isms.
Click on the video below to hear what Son-Rise Program teachers and Son-Rise Program child facilitators think and feel as they join children on the Autism Spectrum in their isms.
If you are on face book right now click on the title of this blog, and then on "view original blog", then on the video itself. You can also view this video on YouTube.
Much love to you and your lovely children
Kate
Labels: Attitude, Joining, Kate
Read more!
posted by Kate Wilde at
7:49 AM
0 Comments
Friday, February 12, 2010
From Katrina - Exclusivity is exciting!
Hello again fellow playroom superstars!
This week I had another amazing example of how being exclusive helps a child grow. We have a lovely little girl here this week who had a challenge being completely stable on her feet. She would often lean into you while walking stairs, or jump at you instead of moving on her own. She started the week interactive with a high attention span. As the week progressed she became more exclusive, one of her isms was walking the stairs and sliding down the slide. As our staff gave her the space to do this on her own, she became more confident and able. On Thursday and Friday she was much more interactive and she was able to easily climb up stairs and slide down instead of jumping at you.
I truly believe that she was using the time she was exclusive to challenge herself and use her new found skill without pressure. By giving her this time we allowed her to find her own motivation to use her feet! Her parents were deeply impressed with her new gait SHE found here at the Autism Treatment Center of America.
There are many reasons that our children are exclusive, and all of them are important and valuable. Let us respect this and join in in order to help them grow!
Love to you all,
Katrina
This week I had another amazing example of how being exclusive helps a child grow. We have a lovely little girl here this week who had a challenge being completely stable on her feet. She would often lean into you while walking stairs, or jump at you instead of moving on her own. She started the week interactive with a high attention span. As the week progressed she became more exclusive, one of her isms was walking the stairs and sliding down the slide. As our staff gave her the space to do this on her own, she became more confident and able. On Thursday and Friday she was much more interactive and she was able to easily climb up stairs and slide down instead of jumping at you.
I truly believe that she was using the time she was exclusive to challenge herself and use her new found skill without pressure. By giving her this time we allowed her to find her own motivation to use her feet! Her parents were deeply impressed with her new gait SHE found here at the Autism Treatment Center of America.
There are many reasons that our children are exclusive, and all of them are important and valuable. Let us respect this and join in in order to help them grow!
Love to you all,
Katrina
Labels: Joining, Son-Rise Program Staff
Read more!
posted by Katrina at
11:04 AM
0 Comments
Building Desire
From Kate Wilde: Building desire within an autistic child to want to connect, interact and create friendships, that is what the Son-Rise Program is all about. If a child has that desire within them, then they are more likely to be spontaneous and to initiate interactions. We want our children to willingly and freely choose us over their exclusive world.
How do we do that?
1. By joining in actively and passionately when our children are isming. This way we populate their exclusive world with people, who are friendly and interested in what they are interested in. Not requesting nor initiating anything of our own. By doing this we give them time and space to initiate interaction with us. If we are constantly offering and requesting during this time we do not give our children that opportunity.
2. Springing into action by responding to all our children's initiations. There are so many; when they look at us; when they touch us; take us by the hand and move us; when they talk to us;when they ask for something whether they communicate their want with a gesture or with words; when they take something from us; when they give us something, even if it is something that they are discarding. All of these are initiations towards us.
3.Respond to these initiations, here at the Autism Treatment Center of America we call them "green lights". Respond with verbal celebrations, and with gestural celebration. Let your child know that you like it when they initiate interaction in this way
.
4. Respond to these green lights with ACTIONS. Get the thing they are wanting, respond to what they are saying with an action, take the object they are giving you and do something interesting with it. If they give you a ball you could roll it, or pretend to eat it. If they take something from you, maybe the train your were holding, offer them another one, if they take that, then offer another. Show them that something fun, interesting and useful happens when they initiate these green lights of interaction with you.
Have fun playing with your beautiful children.
With love
Kate
Labels: Celebrations, Joining, Kate
Read more!
posted by Kate Wilde at
6:33 AM
1 Comments
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Isms
From Kate Wilde: Picture this: A small boy with Autism, his short brown hair sticking up right in the middle of his head. Beautiful dark eyes, so silent and graceful as he moves around the room. He focuses on his plasticine, rolling and rolling, creating and creating. He rolls one ball then another, then another and before you know it he has created a "wild thing", the beginning of a detailed scene from the book, "Where the Wild Things Are."
Half way through this he gets up, effortlessly and gracefully hops across the room, does what looks like an arabesque and then a cartwheel. He balances on the very edge of the slide, stays still for a moment, and ever so softly whispers "bottles and boxes", then leaps to the floor and carries on his dance. Like a gymnastic wowing the judges with a beautiful floor routine.
Then back to his "Wild Thing" creation.
What grace, what magic, what beauty and richness resides in this boys world.
In gratitude for every child I get to meet here at the Autism Treatment Center of America.
With love for your child's world.
Kate Read more!
Half way through this he gets up, effortlessly and gracefully hops across the room, does what looks like an arabesque and then a cartwheel. He balances on the very edge of the slide, stays still for a moment, and ever so softly whispers "bottles and boxes", then leaps to the floor and carries on his dance. Like a gymnastic wowing the judges with a beautiful floor routine.
Then back to his "Wild Thing" creation.
What grace, what magic, what beauty and richness resides in this boys world.
In gratitude for every child I get to meet here at the Autism Treatment Center of America.
With love for your child's world.
Kate Read more!
posted by Kate Wilde at
11:24 AM
0 Comments
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Joining
From Kate Wilde:Joining is at the heart of the Son-Rise Program methodology. Joining means that when our children on the autistic spectrum are engaged in their repetitious and/or exclusive activities, we do exactly what they are doing. If they are pacing around the room exclusively(not looking at us or paying attention to us) then we join by pacing around the room in the exact same way. If they are repeating a phrase from a movie, or reciting a story to themselves, then we will recite the same movie or story to ourselves.
When we are doing what they are doing we are doing it sincerely, really enjoying taking part in their activity. We do this to be closer to them, to populate their world with people so that they are no longer alone.
What are we saying to our children when we join them like this?
We are saying:
That we love them, even when they do not look at us, even when they do not respond to us.
That we do not need them to change in-order for us to be happy with them.
That we care for them and are interested in what they are interested in.
That we would do anything, even stare at a light switch, or spin in a circle a thousand times just so we can be close to them.
That we respect them and believe that what they want to do has worth and merit.
That we believe in them and trust that they are doing the best that they can to take care of themselves.
We are saying that they can trust us, for we love them exactly for who they are right now in this moment, not for who they will become or what they give to us.
This is what I was saying when I joined my God child Jade Adina Hogan during her Son-Rise Program. I said this for hours and hours and hours, as she scrunched up tiny little pieces of paper into tiny balls and placed them into a tiny china tea pot. As she changed mickey mouse's diaper again and again and again. This was said to her by her whole Son-Rise Program team every minute she inhabited her own world.
Last night I had dinner with her and her parents, Bryn and William Hogan Son-Rise Program teachers here at The Autism Treatment Center of America. I was greeted by Jade with squeals of delight, lots of kisses and hugs, and chatter about her Christmas and the things she wants to do with me when I see her next time. Ahhhh the fruits of hours and hours of joining her, trusting that loving her in this way mattered.
Have fun trusting your children.
with love
Kate
When we are doing what they are doing we are doing it sincerely, really enjoying taking part in their activity. We do this to be closer to them, to populate their world with people so that they are no longer alone.
What are we saying to our children when we join them like this?
We are saying:
That we love them, even when they do not look at us, even when they do not respond to us.
That we do not need them to change in-order for us to be happy with them.
That we care for them and are interested in what they are interested in.
That we would do anything, even stare at a light switch, or spin in a circle a thousand times just so we can be close to them.
That we respect them and believe that what they want to do has worth and merit.
That we believe in them and trust that they are doing the best that they can to take care of themselves.
We are saying that they can trust us, for we love them exactly for who they are right now in this moment, not for who they will become or what they give to us.
This is what I was saying when I joined my God child Jade Adina Hogan during her Son-Rise Program. I said this for hours and hours and hours, as she scrunched up tiny little pieces of paper into tiny balls and placed them into a tiny china tea pot. As she changed mickey mouse's diaper again and again and again. This was said to her by her whole Son-Rise Program team every minute she inhabited her own world.
Last night I had dinner with her and her parents, Bryn and William Hogan Son-Rise Program teachers here at The Autism Treatment Center of America. I was greeted by Jade with squeals of delight, lots of kisses and hugs, and chatter about her Christmas and the things she wants to do with me when I see her next time. Ahhhh the fruits of hours and hours of joining her, trusting that loving her in this way mattered.
Have fun trusting your children.
with love
Kate
Labels: Attitude, Joining, Kate
Read more!
posted by Kate Wilde at
1:14 PM
0 Comments
Sunday, December 6, 2009
From Alison: Loving the joining
From Alison: One of the key parts of any Son Rise program playroom session is the Joining of our child's exclusive or repetitious behaviour, here's how that looks in my sessions with my son Jordan.
So I am in the playroom and we have just played a game, now Jordan wants some alone time. He starts to walk in circles around the edge of the room muttering to himself under his breath so quietly that I can hear that he is speaking, but can't hear what he is saying. I walk with him on the opposite side of the room and mutter softly to myself too. Jordan interrupts his monologue with "Mummy will be quiet" as I am distracting him with my mumblings. So now I walk as gently and quietly as I can so as not to disturb him and I stop speaking. But I still want to join him as closely as I can, but not audibly, as I want to demonstrate my love for him and my acceptance of his choice of activity. So, in my head, I continue my own discussion.
It is at this point that I like to focus on what I want for myself and Jordan. In my head I am saying over and over 'I love you and I want to play with you, I love you and I want to play with you'. Then I use a visualisation to put that idea out into the room, so with every breath that I exhale I imagine that I am blowing up a huge balloon that fills the playroom with love and playfulness. Or with every breath I imagine blowing out a little playful butterfly that will fly around the room and fill it with love, laughter and playfulness. Another one that I like is, if I feel my level of 3 E's dropping is to imagine blowing out some little clowns who will bounce around the room doing some fun slapstick antics.
I make up that these visualisations have an effect on the amount of interaction between us. They definately help me focus on my love for Jordan and how much I want him to connect with me. How does joining look in your playroom?
So I am in the playroom and we have just played a game, now Jordan wants some alone time. He starts to walk in circles around the edge of the room muttering to himself under his breath so quietly that I can hear that he is speaking, but can't hear what he is saying. I walk with him on the opposite side of the room and mutter softly to myself too. Jordan interrupts his monologue with "Mummy will be quiet" as I am distracting him with my mumblings. So now I walk as gently and quietly as I can so as not to disturb him and I stop speaking. But I still want to join him as closely as I can, but not audibly, as I want to demonstrate my love for him and my acceptance of his choice of activity. So, in my head, I continue my own discussion.
It is at this point that I like to focus on what I want for myself and Jordan. In my head I am saying over and over 'I love you and I want to play with you, I love you and I want to play with you'. Then I use a visualisation to put that idea out into the room, so with every breath that I exhale I imagine that I am blowing up a huge balloon that fills the playroom with love and playfulness. Or with every breath I imagine blowing out a little playful butterfly that will fly around the room and fill it with love, laughter and playfulness. Another one that I like is, if I feel my level of 3 E's dropping is to imagine blowing out some little clowns who will bounce around the room doing some fun slapstick antics.
I make up that these visualisations have an effect on the amount of interaction between us. They definately help me focus on my love for Jordan and how much I want him to connect with me. How does joining look in your playroom?
Labels: Attitude, Environment, Joining
Read more!
posted by Alison Taylor at
2:34 AM
0 Comments
Monday, November 9, 2009
Exclusivity
One of the defining factors of Autism is that a child has Repetitive Behaviours, here at The Autism Treatment center of America we also see that not only can a child be repetitious but also "exclusive". What do we mean by "exclusivity"?
Exclusivity is when your child is not paying any attention to you. Their attention is on something else, maybe they are focused on a particular object like a book or a ball or a spinning top. Maybe they are simply just wondering around the room seemingly oblivious to the fact that you are in there with them, or that there are many fun toys in the room. Maybe they are just staring at a wall or the ceiling. You may have asked them something and got no response from them. The activity itself does not have to be repetitious, although it can be, just that they are not paying attention or being responsive to you.
How can you tell whether your child is being exclusive?
First ask yourself these questions, "Does it matter whether I am here or not?, meaning I have no real part or role in this game. If the answer is yes then most likely your child is being exclusive.
or, "Would my child notice if I left the room?", if the answer is no then most likely they are being exclusive.
When our children are exclusive they tend to have less facile expressions, more of blank look on their faces, they tend not to look at us for long periods of time, often positioning themselves away from us, moving away from our touch and looking at us less.
In order for us to be aware of this it is important to start to look for this. To spend a minute really looking at our children and to see where their attention is, is it with us or on something else. Then when we see that they are exclusive we can start to join in with what they are doing, but first we have to notice that they are being exclusive.
Click on the link below to see a video that will explain how to join your child.
http://www.autismtreatmentcenter.org/document.php?sectionid=46&documentid=47&filenum=03
Have fun noticing where your child's attention is and joining them.
with love to you!
Kate Read more!
Exclusivity is when your child is not paying any attention to you. Their attention is on something else, maybe they are focused on a particular object like a book or a ball or a spinning top. Maybe they are simply just wondering around the room seemingly oblivious to the fact that you are in there with them, or that there are many fun toys in the room. Maybe they are just staring at a wall or the ceiling. You may have asked them something and got no response from them. The activity itself does not have to be repetitious, although it can be, just that they are not paying attention or being responsive to you.
How can you tell whether your child is being exclusive?
First ask yourself these questions, "Does it matter whether I am here or not?, meaning I have no real part or role in this game. If the answer is yes then most likely your child is being exclusive.
or, "Would my child notice if I left the room?", if the answer is no then most likely they are being exclusive.
When our children are exclusive they tend to have less facile expressions, more of blank look on their faces, they tend not to look at us for long periods of time, often positioning themselves away from us, moving away from our touch and looking at us less.
In order for us to be aware of this it is important to start to look for this. To spend a minute really looking at our children and to see where their attention is, is it with us or on something else. Then when we see that they are exclusive we can start to join in with what they are doing, but first we have to notice that they are being exclusive.
Click on the link below to see a video that will explain how to join your child.
http://www.autismtreatmentcenter.org/document.php?sectionid=46&documentid=47&filenum=03
Have fun noticing where your child's attention is and joining them.
with love to you!
Kate Read more!
posted by Kate Wilde at
12:22 PM
0 Comments
Friday, September 4, 2009
What's Your Ism?
One of the strategies for Autism that The Son-Rise Program uses is joining the child's exclusive and repetitious activities (isms). Some children flap, some spin in circles, some recite lines to movies.
There are many different isms and we all have them. For example, I like to listen to the same songs over and over again on my IPod, I soothe myself with the sound and the rhythm and become absorbed in the music.
I think if I were an autistic child, I'm pretty sure it would be lying snugly under a soft blanket like a cocoon. What is your ism?
There are many different isms and we all have them. For example, I like to listen to the same songs over and over again on my IPod, I soothe myself with the sound and the rhythm and become absorbed in the music.
I think if I were an autistic child, I'm pretty sure it would be lying snugly under a soft blanket like a cocoon. What is your ism?
Labels: Joining, Son-Rise Program Staff
Read more!
posted by Becky Damgaard, Son-Rise Program Teacher at
6:55 PM
1 Comments
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Love in Action
Picture this: A boy 6 years old, with short hair and skinny legs, dressed in shorts and a red t-shirt with the words,"Miracles in Progress" on the front. He is running in circles around the room, saying to himself, "Bat man - help me." He darts to the center of the room spins very fast in circles with his arms out to balance himself. Then he falls to the floor grabbing his leg, (as if he has just hurt it) all the time looking in the mirror while making a "comic pained " face. Then he gets up and repeats the whole thing again.
Beside him is an adult dressed in a blue t-shirt with the words, 'Son-Rise Program Staff" on the front, and a black cape around her shoulders, running around the room shouting to herself, "Bat- man - help me" She darts to the middle of the room spins in circles with her arms out to balance herself, falls to the floor grabbing her leg, (as if she has hurt herself) all the time looking in the mirror while making a"comic pained" face. Then she gets up and repeats the whole thing again.
This carries on for approximately 18 minutes before the boy stops tums to the adult in the cape and takes her hand and spins around with her while looking straight into her eyes.
This is love in action, social connection being formed between Son-Rise Therapists and autistic children every day at The autism Treatment Center of America. Read more!
Beside him is an adult dressed in a blue t-shirt with the words, 'Son-Rise Program Staff" on the front, and a black cape around her shoulders, running around the room shouting to herself, "Bat- man - help me" She darts to the middle of the room spins in circles with her arms out to balance herself, falls to the floor grabbing her leg, (as if she has hurt herself) all the time looking in the mirror while making a"comic pained" face. Then she gets up and repeats the whole thing again.
This carries on for approximately 18 minutes before the boy stops tums to the adult in the cape and takes her hand and spins around with her while looking straight into her eyes.
This is love in action, social connection being formed between Son-Rise Therapists and autistic children every day at The autism Treatment Center of America. Read more!
posted by Kate Wilde at
8:47 AM
1 Comments
Sunday, August 9, 2009
"I Know You Before You Say A Word?"
How is that possible? We listen to what people say (although sometimes not attentively). We gather data from their words. Isn't that how we get to know each other? Yes...and no. We also notice facial expressions, we see body language and movements... we even smell each other. We catalog all the information and form an opinion. Sometimes, wow, we're right on. Sometimes we're really off the mark.
However, there is a group of select people among us who actually don't need to listen to the words or even watch directly what others do...and yet they are often right on what they can know. Who are they? Our amazing, blessed children with autism and other developmental challenges.
A Son-Rise Program Child Facilitator is playing in one of our playrooms (at the Autism Treatment Center of America) with a 6 years old boy. They have begun to establish a relationship...slowly, Jimmy has dared to look and smile at our facilitator who has joined him running around the room and occasionally flapping as if the punctuate each full revolution. The day before, Jimmy was totally exclusive. Today, a relationship in an environment of acceptance and love and celebration has been growing. Another person enters the room...endeavoring to be inconspicuous -- sits in the corner. Jimmy doesn't appear to even look at that person but something starts to happen...Jimmy disengages from our child facilitator and flaps more intensely, then kicks the wall. When the visitor leaves, we noticed an immediate change in Jimmy -- he actually initiates to re-engage and continue building a relationship with our facilitator. Later we find out that the visitor felt very uncomfortable in the room and even judgmental of our joining this little boy "bizarre" behavior
We've seen this many times before. Jimmy knew perhaps the most important thing about the visitor he needed to know -- without they person saying a word or even making any decisive moments. The optimum Son-Rise Program and Son-Rise Program environment is one in which your child is surrounded by people who are comfortable, nonjudgmental and loving. That's one of the keys -- and even if your child was challenged by autism or on the spectrum, wouldn't you want that for him or any child? Do you have u can with any self-scolding. None of us is perfect. Just like our children, we are learning and growing. Do we have to do this perfectly? Actually, do the best you can. The idea is to be aware of our child's human world and do our best to fill it with folks who want to be with us and our children with the Son-Rise Program attitude. Actually, you'd be surprised at what you will noticed when you keep this in mind.
Please know that all of us here at the Autism Treatment Center of America feel excited, honored and blessed to work with you and your awesome children. We're climbing the mountain with you...you are our heroes!!!
In love and celebration of our children, Bears (Barry Neil Kaufman/Co-Founder/Son-Rise Program
However, there is a group of select people among us who actually don't need to listen to the words or even watch directly what others do...and yet they are often right on what they can know. Who are they? Our amazing, blessed children with autism and other developmental challenges.
A Son-Rise Program Child Facilitator is playing in one of our playrooms (at the Autism Treatment Center of America) with a 6 years old boy. They have begun to establish a relationship...slowly, Jimmy has dared to look and smile at our facilitator who has joined him running around the room and occasionally flapping as if the punctuate each full revolution. The day before, Jimmy was totally exclusive. Today, a relationship in an environment of acceptance and love and celebration has been growing. Another person enters the room...endeavoring to be inconspicuous -- sits in the corner. Jimmy doesn't appear to even look at that person but something starts to happen...Jimmy disengages from our child facilitator and flaps more intensely, then kicks the wall. When the visitor leaves, we noticed an immediate change in Jimmy -- he actually initiates to re-engage and continue building a relationship with our facilitator. Later we find out that the visitor felt very uncomfortable in the room and even judgmental of our joining this little boy "bizarre" behavior
We've seen this many times before. Jimmy knew perhaps the most important thing about the visitor he needed to know -- without they person saying a word or even making any decisive moments. The optimum Son-Rise Program and Son-Rise Program environment is one in which your child is surrounded by people who are comfortable, nonjudgmental and loving. That's one of the keys -- and even if your child was challenged by autism or on the spectrum, wouldn't you want that for him or any child? Do you have u can with any self-scolding. None of us is perfect. Just like our children, we are learning and growing. Do we have to do this perfectly? Actually, do the best you can. The idea is to be aware of our child's human world and do our best to fill it with folks who want to be with us and our children with the Son-Rise Program attitude. Actually, you'd be surprised at what you will noticed when you keep this in mind.
Please know that all of us here at the Autism Treatment Center of America feel excited, honored and blessed to work with you and your awesome children. We're climbing the mountain with you...you are our heroes!!!
In love and celebration of our children, Bears (Barry Neil Kaufman/Co-Founder/Son-Rise Program
Labels: Attitude, Bears, Joining
Read more!
posted by (Bears) Barry Neil Kaufman, Founder, Option Inst. at
2:55 PM
0 Comments
Friday, July 24, 2009
Listen, do you want to know a secret?
I have just had an amazing experience. I was working my last session in The Son-Rise Program playroom with a delightful 13 year old boy. The way this lovely boy communicates is in a very deep low voice and very fast. Often you will hear him say clear words in amongst a string of other low and deep sounds if you only listen.
My training in The Son-Rise Program has helped me to listen with new ears. That comes from a deep desire to love and connect with an autistic person.
After joining him solidly for 10 minutes (he was picking hair off his legs and I pretended to pick hair off my legs too), he looked at me, said "I love you" and then walked over to me and gently took both my hands.
At the end of my session I said to him "Goodby Larry, I had an amazing time with you!" to which he replied "Me too, goodbye". It's all there, if you just listen!
My training in The Son-Rise Program has helped me to listen with new ears. That comes from a deep desire to love and connect with an autistic person.
After joining him solidly for 10 minutes (he was picking hair off his legs and I pretended to pick hair off my legs too), he looked at me, said "I love you" and then walked over to me and gently took both my hands.
At the end of my session I said to him "Goodby Larry, I had an amazing time with you!" to which he replied "Me too, goodbye". It's all there, if you just listen!
Labels: Inspiration, Joining, Language
Read more!
posted by Becky Damgaard, Son-Rise Program Teacher at
9:15 AM
1 Comments
Friday, July 10, 2009
Beauty in Acceptance
Hullo again,
Here is a little song I wrote that I would love to share... I wrote this after joining a child for nearly 2 solid hours. Such a beautiful experience, and a lesson to see beauty in everything.
Here is a little song I wrote that I would love to share... I wrote this after joining a child for nearly 2 solid hours. Such a beautiful experience, and a lesson to see beauty in everything.
Speaking with Angels
You sit and gaze at nothing
Where others sit and play.
You rock yourself so gently,
You hum your world away.
You shy from other’s chatter,
Speak words we cannot hear;
But how do we know that angels
Do not whisper in your ear?
In your own sweet way you try
To tell us all you know:
Of the world and all its beauty,
Of the ways that love can show.
The things we have no time for
You remind us how to see,
As if you were an angel
Sent down to carry me.
‘Though others call you different
And cannot hear your song,
And your quirks we label stubborn
And we say that you are wrong;
I know that in your silence
and your stillness I can trust –
For the peace of the angels
Is your gift to us.
You sit and gaze at nothing
Where others sit and play.
You rock yourself so gently,
You hum your world away.
You shy from other’s chatter,
Speak words we cannot hear;
But how do we know that angels
Do not whisper in your ear?
In your own sweet way you try
To tell us all you know:
Of the world and all its beauty,
Of the ways that love can show.
The things we have no time for
You remind us how to see,
As if you were an angel
Sent down to carry me.
‘Though others call you different
And cannot hear your song,
And your quirks we label stubborn
And we say that you are wrong;
I know that in your silence
and your stillness I can trust –
For the peace of the angels
Is your gift to us.
With love,
Jack xxx
Labels: Attitude, Joining, Son-Rise Program Staff
Read more!
posted by Jack at
4:16 PM
0 Comments
The Power of Joining
Of all the strategies for helping autism, I love joining the most. This week the power of joining was brought to my attention yet again. We have a wonderful little boy who is here for his 2nd intensive. While I was joining him he would whisper words and at first I would celebrate and begin to build a game. Then he would say "stop it!" I would immediately give control and happily go back to joining. After this happened a few times I realized that his whispering was part of his ism. I gave him a little bit more space and sank deeper into joining.
I focused my energy on loving this boy and giving him this time to do fully whatever it was he was doing and having fun with him by doing the same. After about 5 more minutes of joining by whispering and looking through books, I heard him say "broken" in his normal voice. I came over to him and offered to kiss the "broken" book. He turned to me and smiled. He then said "tickle tummy" and fell into my lap. I had a really connected game with him where he was talking and looking and playing with me. I really believe that by giving him control and the time to organize himself while I joined him, he was able to connect with me on his own terms in a much fuller, brighter way.
Then to top it off, when my session was over he came over gave me a hug and said "Thank you for helping me Katrina." I love the Son Rise program because of the immense respect we have for each individual and the total acceptance of each moment.
I focused my energy on loving this boy and giving him this time to do fully whatever it was he was doing and having fun with him by doing the same. After about 5 more minutes of joining by whispering and looking through books, I heard him say "broken" in his normal voice. I came over to him and offered to kiss the "broken" book. He turned to me and smiled. He then said "tickle tummy" and fell into my lap. I had a really connected game with him where he was talking and looking and playing with me. I really believe that by giving him control and the time to organize himself while I joined him, he was able to connect with me on his own terms in a much fuller, brighter way.
Then to top it off, when my session was over he came over gave me a hug and said "Thank you for helping me Katrina." I love the Son Rise program because of the immense respect we have for each individual and the total acceptance of each moment.
Labels: Attitude, Giving Control, Joining, Son-Rise Program Staff
Read more!
posted by Katrina at
11:24 AM
1 Comments
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Beauty in Joining
Hullo wonderful friends!
I want to share an beautiful experience I had in the playroom today. The past two weeks our staff here have been lucky enough to work with the most incredible 32 year old man. His mum (a true Force of Nature!) is committed to starting a Son-Rise Program for him, still seeing hope and joy in the potential of her son. Isn't it amazing - hope springs eternal when we decide to look for it!
Well, today I had joined this new friend of mine for over an hour, fascinatedly watching sand timers turn over and over, listening to the trickle of sand running through... and suddenly he sits up, looks right in my eyes and tells me, "I never want to leave here. I am so happy."
This wonderful, sweet 32 year old, experiencing being joined for nearly the first time in his life, was opening up and experiencing true acceptance and I was the fortunate one to share this precious moment with him. Thank you, my friend.
There is nothing more powerful, more giving, more loving than when we truly give ourselves over to the acceptance and beauty of joining our special friends' activities. And I truly believe that it is in these moments of silent connection that we open the doorway for them to move mountains.
Playroom smiles,
Jack
I want to share an beautiful experience I had in the playroom today. The past two weeks our staff here have been lucky enough to work with the most incredible 32 year old man. His mum (a true Force of Nature!) is committed to starting a Son-Rise Program for him, still seeing hope and joy in the potential of her son. Isn't it amazing - hope springs eternal when we decide to look for it!
Well, today I had joined this new friend of mine for over an hour, fascinatedly watching sand timers turn over and over, listening to the trickle of sand running through... and suddenly he sits up, looks right in my eyes and tells me, "I never want to leave here. I am so happy."
This wonderful, sweet 32 year old, experiencing being joined for nearly the first time in his life, was opening up and experiencing true acceptance and I was the fortunate one to share this precious moment with him. Thank you, my friend.
There is nothing more powerful, more giving, more loving than when we truly give ourselves over to the acceptance and beauty of joining our special friends' activities. And I truly believe that it is in these moments of silent connection that we open the doorway for them to move mountains.
Playroom smiles,
Jack
Labels: Attitude, Joining, Son-Rise Program Staff
Read more!
posted by Jack at
6:58 PM
0 Comments
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Tales from a Son-Rise Child Facilitator - Robert moves into my world
The thing I love the most about The Son-Rise Program is that when the child is exclusive, we join them in their world. We don't try to stop their unique behaviours but instead see them as a way to connect, accept, and build a bridge to their amazing world.
One of the most memorable moments of joining as a volunteer, was when Robert used to cover a table with a blanket, crawl under and be in his own little camp for up to 30 minutes at a time.
At first I would sit outside Robert's little camp trying to distract him or make conversation with him. I judged myself that he wasn't playing with me because he either didn't like me or I was boring.
I went on to learn that part of his personality was to be exclusive and avoid connecting with people and that he was doing it to take care of himself in an over stimulating world.
I had witnessed Robert doing other isms such as spinning in circles but this was different and not so obvious to me. Once learning it was an ism, Anna suggested that I joined Robert by setting up my own table and hiding under it and then finding something fascinating about the experience that Robert could be getting out of it.
I went in to my next session and Robert hid under the table with his blanket just like before. I got my own blanket, put it over another table and crawled under. It was a very sunny day and I remember a streak of sunlight coming in from the window and streaming through the fibers of the blanket.
There I was under my blanket crouched up in a ball and on my hands and knees and looking for something to enjoy about the experience. Sure enough, as the sunlight shone through, I saw the most incredible sight. Thousands of specks of dust began to glisten and dance in the stream of sunlight like gold. I was completely in awe of how beautiful it was and became mesmerized by watching the dust.
It was so peaceful, relaxing and fun to be under there, not having to do anything but enjoy the moment. I honestly can't tell you if I was underneath there for 5 minutes or 45 minutes but I do know that while I was under there, Robert had come out of his camp and decided that he wanted to come into my camp.
This was a child who was not close to me, spent a large part of our time together running away from me, screaming, throwing blocks at me or peeing on me and he had crawled into my camp and snuggled up next to me and was lying there with a big smile on his face. At that moment, I understood the power of joining and knew how key it was to connecting with Autistic children.
One of the most memorable moments of joining as a volunteer, was when Robert used to cover a table with a blanket, crawl under and be in his own little camp for up to 30 minutes at a time.
At first I would sit outside Robert's little camp trying to distract him or make conversation with him. I judged myself that he wasn't playing with me because he either didn't like me or I was boring.
I went on to learn that part of his personality was to be exclusive and avoid connecting with people and that he was doing it to take care of himself in an over stimulating world.
I had witnessed Robert doing other isms such as spinning in circles but this was different and not so obvious to me. Once learning it was an ism, Anna suggested that I joined Robert by setting up my own table and hiding under it and then finding something fascinating about the experience that Robert could be getting out of it.
I went in to my next session and Robert hid under the table with his blanket just like before. I got my own blanket, put it over another table and crawled under. It was a very sunny day and I remember a streak of sunlight coming in from the window and streaming through the fibers of the blanket.
There I was under my blanket crouched up in a ball and on my hands and knees and looking for something to enjoy about the experience. Sure enough, as the sunlight shone through, I saw the most incredible sight. Thousands of specks of dust began to glisten and dance in the stream of sunlight like gold. I was completely in awe of how beautiful it was and became mesmerized by watching the dust.
It was so peaceful, relaxing and fun to be under there, not having to do anything but enjoy the moment. I honestly can't tell you if I was underneath there for 5 minutes or 45 minutes but I do know that while I was under there, Robert had come out of his camp and decided that he wanted to come into my camp.
This was a child who was not close to me, spent a large part of our time together running away from me, screaming, throwing blocks at me or peeing on me and he had crawled into my camp and snuggled up next to me and was lying there with a big smile on his face. At that moment, I understood the power of joining and knew how key it was to connecting with Autistic children.
Labels: Joining, Son-Rise Program Staff
Read more!
posted by Becky Damgaard, Son-Rise Program Teacher at
7:52 AM
2 Comments
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Back to Basics
Hi. I'm a Son-Rise Mum and I have been running a programme for 5 years. Has it been hard? Yes. Has it been glorious? Yes. Is my daughter still autistic? Yes. Did I hope otherwise? Yes.
So many Yes's.
But the hardest one has been Back to Basics.
You see, when we started, my daughter was so "high functioning", she could already talk. So I could tick that one off the list. Did she already have eye contact? Yes. Was her communication normal and her eye contact normal? No. So we had a lot to work/play on.... but my daughter responded quickly, loved the Playroom, loved the one-to-one contact with her playmates. We even got onto "Advanced Friendship Skills". From one loop conversations we were up to 10 minutes. Interactive games could last an hour!!! I was so proud. "I'm doing this properly. I can Be Happy".
And then it all changed. My daughter stopped sleeping, her behaviour changed and her progress in the Playroom skidded to a halt. In fact, it slid all the way back to way before we started the programme. She was struggling to survive, her (teenage) body was putting such demands on her.
My volunteers and I were confused. What to do? Of course it was obvious - back to basics- but Oh! we resisted.....How we tried our favourite interactive ploys -nothing....How we introduced new games - nothing....How we tried to make conversation - nothing....
We mourned. In one meeting, we had to face the fact that our dreams ("We will make K. better") seemed to be crumbling. "Choose to be Happy". Mmm. Seemed a long way away.
So of course we went Back to Basics. Joining, joining, joining. The 3 e's. Celebrating. Although we had never stopped doing these, we were rusty on doing them so purely, for hour after hour, especially joining. Luckily, my daughter's main ism is tearing bits of paper, which is quite soothing.....
My mentor, Bryn, asked me. "If she was like this from now on, could that memory of that connection be enough? Could you celebrate her for how she is now? Can you be with her now with absolute abandon?"
And the answer was Yes.
Was I doing Son-Rise wrong? No. Is my daughter going through hormonal challenges (she is 16)? Yes. Does joining work? Yes.
Thank you for Back to Basics. I need to go and do some tearing now.......
So many Yes's.
But the hardest one has been Back to Basics.
You see, when we started, my daughter was so "high functioning", she could already talk. So I could tick that one off the list. Did she already have eye contact? Yes. Was her communication normal and her eye contact normal? No. So we had a lot to work/play on.... but my daughter responded quickly, loved the Playroom, loved the one-to-one contact with her playmates. We even got onto "Advanced Friendship Skills". From one loop conversations we were up to 10 minutes. Interactive games could last an hour!!! I was so proud. "I'm doing this properly. I can Be Happy".
And then it all changed. My daughter stopped sleeping, her behaviour changed and her progress in the Playroom skidded to a halt. In fact, it slid all the way back to way before we started the programme. She was struggling to survive, her (teenage) body was putting such demands on her.
My volunteers and I were confused. What to do? Of course it was obvious - back to basics- but Oh! we resisted.....How we tried our favourite interactive ploys -nothing....How we introduced new games - nothing....How we tried to make conversation - nothing....
We mourned. In one meeting, we had to face the fact that our dreams ("We will make K. better") seemed to be crumbling. "Choose to be Happy". Mmm. Seemed a long way away.
So of course we went Back to Basics. Joining, joining, joining. The 3 e's. Celebrating. Although we had never stopped doing these, we were rusty on doing them so purely, for hour after hour, especially joining. Luckily, my daughter's main ism is tearing bits of paper, which is quite soothing.....
My mentor, Bryn, asked me. "If she was like this from now on, could that memory of that connection be enough? Could you celebrate her for how she is now? Can you be with her now with absolute abandon?"
And the answer was Yes.
Was I doing Son-Rise wrong? No. Is my daughter going through hormonal challenges (she is 16)? Yes. Does joining work? Yes.
Thank you for Back to Basics. I need to go and do some tearing now.......
Labels: 3Es, Attitude, Joining, Personal Growth
Read more!
posted by Claire Hayes at
12:27 AM
1 Comments
Friday, April 3, 2009
Through the eyes of autism
Ten years ago - two years before I started working at The Son-Rise Program, I read a book called Exiting Nirvana - about a young woman named Jessica Park - who is diagnosed with autism. The book tells some of the story of her life, and describes the passion that Jessica gives to her art. And wow - the art she creates is absolutely amazing. If you'd like to see a sample of her art - check out her website:
For me, Jessica Park's art is inspiring because of the beauty she sees in the world. She pulls inspiration from the structures she sees in everyday life - the George Washington Bridge, the Flat Iron Building, etc. And each structure she draws, while so plain and colorless in real life - take on an almost ethereal quality when she adds the colors and the textures that she sees in each structure. They're breathtaking in their beauty. As I looked at Jessica Park's paintings, I just kept thinking to myself - what if we actually took time with every single special child - to find out how they see the world?
To me, being able to join a child's repetitious or exclusive activity is window into an entirely new world - a world I never would have seen without the guidance of all of the special children I meet every day. Until I saw Jessica's art, all I saw was a gray, metal bridge. Now - I can't help but see every bridge in a rainbow of color. Each child with autism that I meet shows me such beauty in the world - beauty in all of the places that I never thought to look.
Read more!
posted by Carolina, Son-Rise Program Senior Teacher at
12:30 PM
0 Comments
Copyright 1998-2008. The Option Institute & Fellowship. All rights reserved.