In the Wee Small Hours of the Morning
Every once and a while, I wake up in the middle of the night from a scary dream or from having too many things on my to-do list... But I've found that no matter how scared or stressed I feel, I am always able to find my way back to sleep quickly by imagining that somewhere in the world, someone is playing in a Son-Rise Program playroom at every moment my day or night.
Perhaps it's because I have Australia on the brain, as I'm leaving in two weeks for a holiday in Australia and New Zealand, or perhaps it's because I speak to so many families from ALL over the world every single day - from Poland, Nigeria, England, Scotland, Ireland, Australia, Quebec, the Philippines, all 50 US states - just to name a few. Whatever the cause, I've been thinking a lot lately about how beautiful it is that there are SO many Son-Rise Program families out there - families who have made the choice to live their lives with a powerful intention - to love and accept their children exactly as they are.
For me, the playroom has become a sanctuary - where I can go and enjoy every moment - no matter what might be going on in my life or in the world outside. When I'm joining a child's ism or celebrating a child's sound, or laughing a child's first joke, I am completely 100% present in that room. So, for me, there's nothing more beautiful than the thought that at every minute of every day, somewhere in the world someone is in the playroom having a fabulous time.
The next time you're stuck, upset, scared, awake in the middle of the night - you're welcome to join me - by celebrating the joy of the playrooms all around the world. It brings a smile to my face and a peaceful feeling to my heart every single time.
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Perhaps it's because I have Australia on the brain, as I'm leaving in two weeks for a holiday in Australia and New Zealand, or perhaps it's because I speak to so many families from ALL over the world every single day - from Poland, Nigeria, England, Scotland, Ireland, Australia, Quebec, the Philippines, all 50 US states - just to name a few. Whatever the cause, I've been thinking a lot lately about how beautiful it is that there are SO many Son-Rise Program families out there - families who have made the choice to live their lives with a powerful intention - to love and accept their children exactly as they are.
For me, the playroom has become a sanctuary - where I can go and enjoy every moment - no matter what might be going on in my life or in the world outside. When I'm joining a child's ism or celebrating a child's sound, or laughing a child's first joke, I am completely 100% present in that room. So, for me, there's nothing more beautiful than the thought that at every minute of every day, somewhere in the world someone is in the playroom having a fabulous time.
The next time you're stuck, upset, scared, awake in the middle of the night - you're welcome to join me - by celebrating the joy of the playrooms all around the world. It brings a smile to my face and a peaceful feeling to my heart every single time.
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posted by Carolina, Son-Rise Program Senior Teacher at
6:41 AM
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Friday, October 30, 2009
An Extraordinary Celebration
Imagine this... A little girl diagnosed with autism celebrates her 6th birthday - and for the first time in her life is able to have a party with friends - and is completely indistinguishable from her peers - participating typically in every moment of the party. What a special birthday to celebrate!
Elizabeth is an amazing little girl with sparkly eyes who happens to love everything to do with the magic of fairies. She has an amazing little smile and she invites you in to play with her with such joy and delight - telling you all about her fairies and asking you which one is your favorite, and playing with you with such flexibility and ease.
Three years ago, when I first met Elizabeth's family - she spent most of her time playing alone - inflexible and rigid about what she would play, using only enough language to communicate her basic wants and not demonstrating any interest in her peers.
After two years of a home-based Son-Rise Program, she started school this year - and now has so many friends that she had to be convinced that she had room to invite her sister to her birthday party. For two hours, Elizabeth played games with her friends (in a big room full of carnival-type games), talked to her friends, participated in hitting the pinata, held her friend's hand while in line for a game, opened all of her presents and thanked each of her friends. It was a truly special day.
And now - Elizabeth talks non-stop about how fun the party was.
So, as Elizabeth blows out the candles on her birthday cake, I am sending a wish to each of you - that you find something extraordinary to celebrate in your children today.
Elizabeth is an amazing little girl with sparkly eyes who happens to love everything to do with the magic of fairies. She has an amazing little smile and she invites you in to play with her with such joy and delight - telling you all about her fairies and asking you which one is your favorite, and playing with you with such flexibility and ease.
Three years ago, when I first met Elizabeth's family - she spent most of her time playing alone - inflexible and rigid about what she would play, using only enough language to communicate her basic wants and not demonstrating any interest in her peers.
After two years of a home-based Son-Rise Program, she started school this year - and now has so many friends that she had to be convinced that she had room to invite her sister to her birthday party. For two hours, Elizabeth played games with her friends (in a big room full of carnival-type games), talked to her friends, participated in hitting the pinata, held her friend's hand while in line for a game, opened all of her presents and thanked each of her friends. It was a truly special day.
And now - Elizabeth talks non-stop about how fun the party was.
So, as Elizabeth blows out the candles on her birthday cake, I am sending a wish to each of you - that you find something extraordinary to celebrate in your children today.
Labels: Carolina, Celebrations, Inspiration
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posted by Carolina, Son-Rise Program Senior Teacher at
6:46 AM
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Thursday, September 10, 2009
A Moment of Peace
This month, all of The Autism Treatment Center of America staff - Child Facilitators and Teachers - are more busy than ever before. We've taken on some new exciting projects to help even more families - and since we're doing it all at once, wow - it has made each day like a whirlwind of activity. But it has helped me realize the most amazing gift - that even on the busiest of days, it only takes one moment of pause to feel relaxed, energized and ready for more.
Monday was one of those days that was full to the very brim - my cats waking me up at 5:00 because they'd found a previously undiscovered mouse hiding in the kitchen...construction workers arriving at my house at 7:00am...eat, exercise, shower...8 people wanting my first 20 minutes at work...then 7 hours of back to back teaching and meetings and two hours of consultations...And finally arriving home at 7:30 pm to a sink full of dirty dishes and an empty refrigerator - realizing that I forgot to take my car to the mechanic for my scheduled appointment 12 hours before.
It was only as I sat down an old can of chicken soup I found in the cupboard, I realized that I wasn't tired - even after such a full day. All last week, I remember feeling tired every night when I got home - so what had changed?
I realized that it only took two simple intentions to have a FULL day and still feel relaxed...
1) Decide that one moment of pause is enough. That day, I did stop and go outside and sit in the sun for just 2 minutes - and that two minutes was enough to keep me going for the entire day. When I really let my brain stop for just a moment, it was like I had taken a relaxing afternoon nap.
2) Return to the task at hand with gratitude. No matter what is in front of us, or how many things are on the to-do list, if we decide to greet each task with a smile, then even when our day is completely full, nothing feels overwhelming.
Try it - just for a moment - just step outside for a moment, take a deep breath and return to whatever you're doing with a smile. It's amazingly simple, but it works. Have you gone yet? What are you still doing sitting here? Go! Enjoy your moment! And enjoy the rest of your day.
Monday was one of those days that was full to the very brim - my cats waking me up at 5:00 because they'd found a previously undiscovered mouse hiding in the kitchen...construction workers arriving at my house at 7:00am...eat, exercise, shower...8 people wanting my first 20 minutes at work...then 7 hours of back to back teaching and meetings and two hours of consultations...And finally arriving home at 7:30 pm to a sink full of dirty dishes and an empty refrigerator - realizing that I forgot to take my car to the mechanic for my scheduled appointment 12 hours before.
It was only as I sat down an old can of chicken soup I found in the cupboard, I realized that I wasn't tired - even after such a full day. All last week, I remember feeling tired every night when I got home - so what had changed?
I realized that it only took two simple intentions to have a FULL day and still feel relaxed...
1) Decide that one moment of pause is enough. That day, I did stop and go outside and sit in the sun for just 2 minutes - and that two minutes was enough to keep me going for the entire day. When I really let my brain stop for just a moment, it was like I had taken a relaxing afternoon nap.
2) Return to the task at hand with gratitude. No matter what is in front of us, or how many things are on the to-do list, if we decide to greet each task with a smile, then even when our day is completely full, nothing feels overwhelming.
Try it - just for a moment - just step outside for a moment, take a deep breath and return to whatever you're doing with a smile. It's amazingly simple, but it works. Have you gone yet? What are you still doing sitting here? Go! Enjoy your moment! And enjoy the rest of your day.
Labels: Attitude, Carolina, Personal Growth
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posted by Carolina, Son-Rise Program Senior Teacher at
10:45 AM
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Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Free from the Chains of "I Have To"
I just wanted to share a lovely email from a Son-Rise Program mom... She's recently found her inspiration again and it was so beautiful, I just had to share it...
"...sometimes when I'm playing, he is so deep in stimming that I feel like throwing up. :) And on our last call you helped me understand my fear about having postponed my life and my career until Vuk 'graduates' from the Son-Rise Program (which in turn was making me very upset when I didn't see progress)...
Our conversation made me decide that I will allow for thoughts about my career right away. On days when I felt unhappy I would feel so sorry for myself that I had made myself stop the lawyering and the career that was going well...blah blah...
But at the thought of going back to work I felt like I would throw up again :) (Funny I never throw up for real - I guess only in my thoughts ;)
I realized that I was just trying to figure out how to keep a career that I started and that I really didn't enjoy at all - but didn't like to face the prospect of leaving it because I had put so much effort into it for years before.
Then, I listened to the Optimal Self Trust CD and this just clenched my problem completely. It told me that I can live my life by following what I think is right (or simply do what I want) even though I don't have a logical support for it. What a relief! So I have been trying this for a week or so now -
I don't go to eat until I want to, and then I eat what I want.
I don't play with my son when I think I should -
I play with him when I want to play with him.
And I DO go play with him!
(It used to be that I would feel like playing but then I would say "Oh no, I need to address this issue and make some kind of schedule in order to give myself comfort that I will not fail again in playing with him regularly...") So in fact I would stop myself from doing what I want - because it wasn't part of a logically prepared plan ??? Seems hilarious now.
SO, it appears that a lot of things in life WILL happen if you just do them when you WANT to do them.
"...sometimes when I'm playing, he is so deep in stimming that I feel like throwing up. :) And on our last call you helped me understand my fear about having postponed my life and my career until Vuk 'graduates' from the Son-Rise Program (which in turn was making me very upset when I didn't see progress)...
Our conversation made me decide that I will allow for thoughts about my career right away. On days when I felt unhappy I would feel so sorry for myself that I had made myself stop the lawyering and the career that was going well...blah blah...
But at the thought of going back to work I felt like I would throw up again :) (Funny I never throw up for real - I guess only in my thoughts ;)
I realized that I was just trying to figure out how to keep a career that I started and that I really didn't enjoy at all - but didn't like to face the prospect of leaving it because I had put so much effort into it for years before.
Then, I listened to the Optimal Self Trust CD and this just clenched my problem completely. It told me that I can live my life by following what I think is right (or simply do what I want) even though I don't have a logical support for it. What a relief! So I have been trying this for a week or so now -
I don't go to eat until I want to, and then I eat what I want.
I don't play with my son when I think I should -
I play with him when I want to play with him.
And I DO go play with him!
(It used to be that I would feel like playing but then I would say "Oh no, I need to address this issue and make some kind of schedule in order to give myself comfort that I will not fail again in playing with him regularly...") So in fact I would stop myself from doing what I want - because it wasn't part of a logically prepared plan ??? Seems hilarious now.
SO, it appears that a lot of things in life WILL happen if you just do them when you WANT to do them.
Labels: Attitude, Carolina, Personal Growth
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posted by Carolina, Son-Rise Program Senior Teacher at
12:42 PM
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Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Optimal self trust - Hearing your inner voice
I just spoke with a wonderful Son-Rise Program family - a mom who is full of 3Es and excitement for everything her son is doing.
...from barely speaking to having mini conversations and asking "Why?" all the time - from barely smiling to smiling and laughing all the time...
..from a small attention span to a great desire to play with his volunteers...
...from isming exclusively on his figurines to now telling his parents and volunteers stories about the figurines - he's made his own exclusive activity into something that is now interactive!
As she listed the changes they've seen in their son, I could hear the pure joy in her voice - it was so beautiful to hear.
And yet, as we talked, she shared with me that she has really started to doubt herself - because the school authority in her area has begun questioning her decision to have her son at home. They are saying "it won't be useful for him" - that "she doesn't know what she's doing" - and that "his changes can all be attributed to the natural result of him getting older". They aren't giving credit to the work she and her team have done at home.
So now, she's starting to doubt herself.
Isn't it amazing what we do? At first, we see so much evidence of our own power in the world - our child is changing in amazing ways and we think it's because of what we're doing. But, as soon as someone else tells us that we're not powerful at all, we drop our own evidence and believe the other person. We stop listening to our own inner voice as soon as we think someone else might know better...
If no one ever listened to their inner voice, the world would still be flat, the planets would still revolve around the earth, and sticking leeches on our feet would still be the common cure for diseases... :) Isn't it time we start believing in what we see instead of what other people say is true? Isn't it time we start listening to our own innner voice?
...from barely speaking to having mini conversations and asking "Why?" all the time - from barely smiling to smiling and laughing all the time...
..from a small attention span to a great desire to play with his volunteers...
...from isming exclusively on his figurines to now telling his parents and volunteers stories about the figurines - he's made his own exclusive activity into something that is now interactive!
As she listed the changes they've seen in their son, I could hear the pure joy in her voice - it was so beautiful to hear.
And yet, as we talked, she shared with me that she has really started to doubt herself - because the school authority in her area has begun questioning her decision to have her son at home. They are saying "it won't be useful for him" - that "she doesn't know what she's doing" - and that "his changes can all be attributed to the natural result of him getting older". They aren't giving credit to the work she and her team have done at home.
So now, she's starting to doubt herself.
Isn't it amazing what we do? At first, we see so much evidence of our own power in the world - our child is changing in amazing ways and we think it's because of what we're doing. But, as soon as someone else tells us that we're not powerful at all, we drop our own evidence and believe the other person. We stop listening to our own inner voice as soon as we think someone else might know better...
If no one ever listened to their inner voice, the world would still be flat, the planets would still revolve around the earth, and sticking leeches on our feet would still be the common cure for diseases... :) Isn't it time we start believing in what we see instead of what other people say is true? Isn't it time we start listening to our own innner voice?
Labels: Attitude, Carolina, Personal Growth
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posted by Carolina, Son-Rise Program Senior Teacher at
12:41 PM
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Wednesday, April 15, 2009
The Power of Being Silly
There is something about this sweet little video that felt so good to my heart.
I love knowing that there are people in the world who believe in random acts of silliness. The impact of our love and silliness on those around us is such a profound and beautiful gift. When we are willing to share our joy - fully, without editing ourselves or holding anything back - we encourage others to do the same. And the effect is endless. You impact one person, he impacts another, she impacts another and another and another... And within no time the silliness and joy can be seen everywhere you look. Worldwide happiness is dependent only on enough of us being willing to BEGIN.
Every day with our children with autism we are given an opportunity: we can hold back and spend our time worrying about the future - or we can decide to enjoy ourselves in this moment RIGHT NOW. Try it today - choose happiness and joy and see just how much silliness and laughter you receive in return.
I love knowing that there are people in the world who believe in random acts of silliness. The impact of our love and silliness on those around us is such a profound and beautiful gift. When we are willing to share our joy - fully, without editing ourselves or holding anything back - we encourage others to do the same. And the effect is endless. You impact one person, he impacts another, she impacts another and another and another... And within no time the silliness and joy can be seen everywhere you look. Worldwide happiness is dependent only on enough of us being willing to BEGIN.
Every day with our children with autism we are given an opportunity: we can hold back and spend our time worrying about the future - or we can decide to enjoy ourselves in this moment RIGHT NOW. Try it today - choose happiness and joy and see just how much silliness and laughter you receive in return.
Labels: 3Es, Attitude, Carolina
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posted by Carolina, Son-Rise Program Senior Teacher at
10:14 AM
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Friday, April 3, 2009
Through the eyes of autism
Ten years ago - two years before I started working at The Son-Rise Program, I read a book called Exiting Nirvana - about a young woman named Jessica Park - who is diagnosed with autism. The book tells some of the story of her life, and describes the passion that Jessica gives to her art. And wow - the art she creates is absolutely amazing. If you'd like to see a sample of her art - check out her website:
For me, Jessica Park's art is inspiring because of the beauty she sees in the world. She pulls inspiration from the structures she sees in everyday life - the George Washington Bridge, the Flat Iron Building, etc. And each structure she draws, while so plain and colorless in real life - take on an almost ethereal quality when she adds the colors and the textures that she sees in each structure. They're breathtaking in their beauty. As I looked at Jessica Park's paintings, I just kept thinking to myself - what if we actually took time with every single special child - to find out how they see the world?
To me, being able to join a child's repetitious or exclusive activity is window into an entirely new world - a world I never would have seen without the guidance of all of the special children I meet every day. Until I saw Jessica's art, all I saw was a gray, metal bridge. Now - I can't help but see every bridge in a rainbow of color. Each child with autism that I meet shows me such beauty in the world - beauty in all of the places that I never thought to look.
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posted by Carolina, Son-Rise Program Senior Teacher at
12:30 PM
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Thursday, March 26, 2009
Hope for Autism
Having recently spent a great deal of time searching the internet for all things autism, I am feeling immense gratitude for the hopeful attitude that is finally beginning to take over the autism landscape, and particularly for the hope that parents find each day at The Autism Treatment Center of America.
Eight years ago when I began this work, I heard so many hopeless statements about autism. As I spent time traveling for work or to see my family, I often had the opportunity to talk about my work, and I invariably heard the following responses:
Eight years ago when I began this work, I heard so many hopeless statements about autism. As I spent time traveling for work or to see my family, I often had the opportunity to talk about my work, and I invariably heard the following responses:
"Wow, your work must be so difficult, knowing that there's nothing you can really do to help these kids."
"You actually believe that children can recover from autism?"
"You do know that anyone who supposedly recovered from autism must have been misdiagnosed, right?"
I patiently and persistently offered the idea that we can help children with autism to recover and lead typical lives, and people consistently responded with hopelessness and pessimism - or simply with polite laughter, dismissing hope without even considering it.
But now, I'm beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Finally, the public opinion out there in the ether is beginning to reflect a hopeful perspective toward the future of children on the autism spectrum. It's finally beginning to be popular to believe in limitless possibilities for our children - rather than condemning them to a future of institutionalization.
Every day, with each child I meet, I see hope - from the first words of a five-year-old, to the first conversation of a 25-year-old - to the first day of school for a little girl who once smeared her poo to get her way. Finally, hope is out there - like the first glow of sunlight at dawn - brightening to fill the entire day. Just imagine the possiblities...
Labels: Carolina, Inspiration
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posted by Carolina, Son-Rise Program Senior Teacher at
8:44 AM
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