Which comes first?
Which comes first - our child's behaviour or our attitude about it? Sort of a chicken and egg type question. In this case, the behaviour happens first, then our attitude/thoughts about it, but then where do we start to lead with our attitude.
At a team meeting a couple of weeks ago, I had a revelation. I got that rather than getting comfortable with Jordyn's pinching behaviour (not reacting), I had become complacent. I actually got that who was walking in the room to be with him was a "pinching bag". While I had coached other team members to create their sessions outside the room, and they had created "no pinching today", I was clear I'd get pinched. And guess what, I got pinched. Was it my attitude OR Jordyn's action that came first... hmmmm.... changed my attitude and the behaviour decreased!
Attitude or behaviour, which comes first?
I'm now looking again at where I am "hoping" for a different behaviour but have stopped creating it and have become resigned to that its going to be that way. You could say, where I've stopped being a force of creation! The question to ask myself always is "What am I creating?"... if attitude comes first (and I believe it does) then the behaviour and miracles will follow.
What are you creating?
Love and best wishes at the beginning of another miraculous year - Kelli
Labels: Aggressive Behaviors, Attitude
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posted by Kelli Pallett, Son-Rise Mom at
11:10 AM
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Tuesday, December 1, 2009
From Kate Wilde: There is more you can do.
From Kate Wilde:
Yesterday I answered the phone in our book store, it was a Mom of a 10 year old autistic boy. She was calling because a couple of weeks ago her school had called her up to tell her that they wanted her 10 year old son to go on psychotic drugs. Why? Because they did not know how to handle his sometimes "aggressive behaviour".
So their solution was to drug him, to sedate him so that he does no "bother" them anymore. No concern for this boy's quality of life or the side effects of giving a young child such powerful drugs.
Here at The Autism Treatment Center of America when a child is kicking, pushing, hitting biting etc, we ask ourselves the following questions:
Why are they doing this?
What are they trying to tell us?
What can we do to change OUR behaviour to help this child change theirs?
Once we understand why our children are doing this then we apply a whole host of easy effective techniques to help them choose a different way of communicating.
If your child is being aggressive click on the link below which will take to you a blog about the common reasons why a child might be aggressive.
http://www.autismtreatmentcenter.org/blog/2009/10/intense-energy.php
Then click on this other link that will take you to a webinar on how the Son-Rise Program helps children who have challenging behaviour.
http://www.autismtreatmentcenter.org/media:video,22,0
If your school system or the care home is telling you that your child has to go on drugs because of his aggressive behaviour, think again, there is another way to help your child, it is called The Son-Rise Program.
We want to help you and your child.
With love
Kate
Yesterday I answered the phone in our book store, it was a Mom of a 10 year old autistic boy. She was calling because a couple of weeks ago her school had called her up to tell her that they wanted her 10 year old son to go on psychotic drugs. Why? Because they did not know how to handle his sometimes "aggressive behaviour".
So their solution was to drug him, to sedate him so that he does no "bother" them anymore. No concern for this boy's quality of life or the side effects of giving a young child such powerful drugs.
Here at The Autism Treatment Center of America when a child is kicking, pushing, hitting biting etc, we ask ourselves the following questions:
Why are they doing this?
What are they trying to tell us?
What can we do to change OUR behaviour to help this child change theirs?
Once we understand why our children are doing this then we apply a whole host of easy effective techniques to help them choose a different way of communicating.
If your child is being aggressive click on the link below which will take to you a blog about the common reasons why a child might be aggressive.
http://www.autismtreatmentcenter.org/blog/2009/10/intense-energy.php
Then click on this other link that will take you to a webinar on how the Son-Rise Program helps children who have challenging behaviour.
http://www.autismtreatmentcenter.org/media:video,22,0
If your school system or the care home is telling you that your child has to go on drugs because of his aggressive behaviour, think again, there is another way to help your child, it is called The Son-Rise Program.
We want to help you and your child.
With love
Kate
Labels: Aggressive Behaviors, Kate, Training Programs
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posted by Kate Wilde at
4:59 AM
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Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Communication
Here at The Son-Rise Program Intensive we have a 6 year old Autistic boy with gorgeous freckles. He uses many gestures to communicate, he points, waves, nods his head yes and no, communicates how many things there are by putting up the same amount of fingers, and kicks or slaps his Dad to let his Dad know that he wants to play with him.
So many lovely gestures to indicate what he wants, all of them work for him, including the one of kicking his Dad to initiate a game. Here's how:
His Dad is playing a great interactive game of scooping him up in his arms and tickling him, they play this together laughing for a couple of minutes. Then he stops playing the game and isms for a while lying on his back staring and playing with a little dog, when he is finished with his ism, he turns to his Dad looks at him and kicks his Dad in the stomach, his Dad then starts another tickle game with him, by immediately scooping him up. It became clear after watching this boy initiate every game with his Dad with a slap or a kick that this was this child's way of telling his Dad he wanted to play.
Sometimes our children's kicking, biting, hitting, etc is just a communication. They are not intending to hurt us, nor are they trying to button push.
So here this week at The Autism Treatment Center of America we are teaching both this little boy to use another way to communicate when he wants to play, like using words such as "tickle" or "play", and his Dad to tell his little boy that he does not understand it when he is kicked, but he does understand when his son says, "tickle" or "play".
This lovely boy is so smart he is getting it already!
Much love to you all
Kate
So many lovely gestures to indicate what he wants, all of them work for him, including the one of kicking his Dad to initiate a game. Here's how:
His Dad is playing a great interactive game of scooping him up in his arms and tickling him, they play this together laughing for a couple of minutes. Then he stops playing the game and isms for a while lying on his back staring and playing with a little dog, when he is finished with his ism, he turns to his Dad looks at him and kicks his Dad in the stomach, his Dad then starts another tickle game with him, by immediately scooping him up. It became clear after watching this boy initiate every game with his Dad with a slap or a kick that this was this child's way of telling his Dad he wanted to play.
Sometimes our children's kicking, biting, hitting, etc is just a communication. They are not intending to hurt us, nor are they trying to button push.
So here this week at The Autism Treatment Center of America we are teaching both this little boy to use another way to communicate when he wants to play, like using words such as "tickle" or "play", and his Dad to tell his little boy that he does not understand it when he is kicked, but he does understand when his son says, "tickle" or "play".
This lovely boy is so smart he is getting it already!
Much love to you all
Kate
Labels: Aggressive Behaviors, Kate
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posted by Kate Wilde at
1:41 PM
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Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Being Hit & Punched and Love and Acceptance!!
Step 1. Don't Light Up Like a Christmas Tree!!
I just spoke to a mother on the phone this morning who wants to come to the Son-Rise Program Start-Up. One of the issues she wanted help with regarding her son, who is 5 yrs old, was the fact that he is aggressive towards her, hitting, punching and biting her. This is part of what I shared with her, which I thought would be a great reminder to you all. Enjoy.
I just spoke to a mother on the phone this morning who wants to come to the Son-Rise Program Start-Up. One of the issues she wanted help with regarding her son, who is 5 yrs old, was the fact that he is aggressive towards her, hitting, punching and biting her. This is part of what I shared with her, which I thought would be a great reminder to you all. Enjoy.
- Don't light up like a Christmas Tree: Getting annoyed or frustrated and angrily telling your child to "stop it", "it hurts", "that's bad," etc., in most situations, will encourage them to do this behavior more. Do your best to be as low energy as possible as you do #2 below.
- Look after Yourself: Love and acceptance does not mean you sit there while your child "beats the crap out of you!" Part of love and acceptance is wanting the best for yourself and your child. Take action - stand up if you are sitting down, get a cushion or big ball and put it in between you and your child; if they are trying to bite you - offer them something to chew on, etc. Bottom line - look after yourself and help your child channel their energy into something that would help them and also keep you from getting hit, bitten, etc.
- Run your Son-Rise Program: Each hour, each day you run your Son-Rise Program will be time spent helping your child develop their ability to interact and socialize more appropriately, which in turn helps them handle the over stimulation of day to day life and especially those situations where they do not get what they want. Many families have reported that when they started running their Son-Rise Program their child's "aggressive" behaviors greatly reduce or stopped all together.
If you want more information on handling such behaviors go to our homepage at http://www.autismtreatmentcenter.org/ , scrowl down the page and watch webinar #13 call Aggressive Behaviors.
Have the best time helping yourself and your child.
Much love to you
William
Labels: Aggressive Behaviors, Attitude, Training Programs, William
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posted by William Hogan, Senior Son-Rise Program Teacher at
9:04 AM
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